Monday Morning Check In: Change the Story

Written by Paula E. Bird, copyright 2014

Last week I had a particularly difficult lesson with one of my young nine-year-old students. Actually, I should say that I had another particularly difficult lesson. The student is troublesome, because for the first year of lessons, her mother and I spent about 98% of our lesson and practice time addressing unproductive behaviors.

On the day after her lesson, I was getting ready for my day and taking a shower. (Don't you find that some of your greatest ideas come while taking a shower?). As I showered, I ran over in my mind the students that I had taught the day before. Amidst many sighs, I thought about the unproductive behavior and then about the kinds of general misbehaviors that I had encountered in the last few lessons. I thought about how I felt during these periods of my student's acting up and acting out and about how her mother responded as well. Then I said to myself aloud, "You'll just have to change her story." And I shrugged and prepared to get out of the shower and get on with my day.

Wait! Something about what I said resonated with me. "Change her story." What was her story? My student's story was the story that I told myself about her every time I thought about her. My student's story was the story that her mother revealed with every interaction she had with her daughter. I do not know about any other stories I could learn about this child, such as from her teachers, classmates, or her father. I suspect there are similar stories in those quarters as mine.

Yes, the child could drive us nuts with her misbehaviors, but take a step back and think about this. She is, after all, a child. We are the grownups. We are the ones who are charged with knowing (or finding out) how to handle these things.

I wanted to change her story because I wanted to change the way that I thought about her. I wanted to change my thinking about her in order to change my feelings and behavior towards her. When I began to think about our teacher-student relationship as they related to basic story lines, I then recalled one lesson when this child and I had joked about making up a story with the child as the center figure. Our working title was, "The Day that Julia Turned into an Alligator." (Fictional Name). I do not recall why we came up with the idea of making the child into an alligator; I suspect it had everything to do with the kind of behavior that the child exhibited that day. I do recall that by turning our thoughts and feelings into a story that we could share together, we built a rather interesting connection between us that day, and I believe that this connection is what the child needs. She loves to give me hugs during her lesson, especially at her most difficult moments. (Maybe we should have made her turn into a Porcupine in the story since she likes to be so prickly).

This story idea gave me an even bigger idea that I would like to share with you. Why not create a story that features the child but not as a child?  The process of creating a story will help to reveal the nature of our thinking about the child. Perhaps once we fully understand our feelings and thoughts about the child will we then be able to effectuate a change in those feelings and thoughts by changing the story.

Here are the basic ingredients to get you started on creating your own story about one of your students. You need a beginning, a middle, and an ending. The story can be three lines long or much more depending on your needs.

Beginning
Once upon a time, there was a girl/boy named _____. _____ was a _____ (animal, bird, amphibian, flower, insect, dragon, fictional character).

_____ had a problem (or a need): {name the problem or need and explain it}

Middle
{Write how _____ struggled to solve the problem or fulfill the need or grow stronger to handle the problem better}

Ending
Then one day, _____ {describe the culmination of the struggle}

Here is an example of such a story (no names, although I bear an uncanny resemblance to the old, wise teacher).

Once upon a time, there was a very old and wise teacher who loved to open the front door of her little cottage and welcome in the birds and animals of the forest. Then when the birds and animals would come to visit, the gentle teacher would allow them to enter her cottage and talk with her a while. Sometimes they would play games together, and sometimes they would play music together.

One day a very unusual creature came to the teacher's cottage and demanded to be let in. The teacher happily opened the door to welcome the newcomer, but then she was surprised when during the course of the visit the creature changed into a bird and began to flit around the room. At first the teacher ran after the bird and tried to catch it to keep it still in one place, but just as she got close enough to snatch the bird into her hands, the bird changed into a porcupine. The teacher cautiously stepped back away from the porcupine lest she be pricked by any of the animal's quills.

The next time the creature came to visit, the creature turned into an alligator, which carelessly swung its enormous tail from side to side as it walked, knocking over the teacher's lovely delicate treasures on the cottage bookshelf. The teacher hurried over to catch the items that the alligator had knocked over with its tail. Then the creature turned into a lion and raised her gigantic paws to claw the air and hissed loudly at the teacher.

"My Goodness," the teacher said to herself. "It's very difficult to love this creature! It won't let me near it. I can't get close enough to give it a hug." Still, the teacher would open the door and let the creature come into the cottage and visit. The creature took many forms: a braying donkey, a jumping rabbit, a squawking crow, and a screeching monkey. The teacher was kept very busy trying to keep up with all of the different shapes and noises. Sometimes when other animals were visiting at the same time, this new creature would bump into the other animals with its tail or scare away the other animals with its unpleasant noises.

One time the creature was skittering about on quiet feet, appearing like a little dormouse or squirrel. The wise, old teacher had her back turned to pick up her violin and play some songs for her visitors and did not realize that the creature -- who had now become a quiet, little squirrel -- had sneaked up behind her. When the teacher swung her violin up onto her shoulder and turned around to play music, the scroll of her violin smacked the little creature's head with a resounding thump that brought tears to the little creature's enormous black eyes. The teacher felt very sad about having hurt the little creature, but she did not know how to explain the mishap. The little creature spent the rest of that visit along the back fringe of the other animals who were there to visit.

The wise, old teacher was determined that she would show this creature that it could be loved, no matter what kind of animal it became. It took courage and some time to work up enough nerve to do this. One day the teacher was convinced that she would be able to love the creature no matter what it would turn into that day. She hatched a plan and thought about her plan for several days, over and over. She thought of all the ways that she could show her love to the creature, no matter what the creature turned into. She practiced smiling a lot, no matter how she felt, even when she did not feel like smiling very much because she was tired or had a sniffle or had eaten horrid liver snaps in her oatmeal (which was a mistake, since she thought she had put crushed almonds in her porridge but had forgotten to put her glasses on when she cooked her breakfast).

One day the teacher was ready. She smiled to herself all day as she anticipated seeing the creature and putting her plan into action. With each smile that she practiced, the teacher felt stronger. And a curious thing happened, the teacher did get stronger because with every smile she practiced, she grew happier. The teacher found out that it was not her music that was the magic that made the animals and birds of the forest want to visit her. Her smiles made the magic happen, and just as wonderful as magic is, we find out that the magic can grow even stronger merely by the practice of it. The teacher's constant practice of smiling brought her more and more happiness, which made the teacher smile even more.

And that is as far as I will go with the story, as it is my story to finish. Do you see how the story revealed different aspects of the teacher-student relationship? At first, the teacher welcomed visitors. The teacher thought of herself as having something to offer the visitors. This new creature, however, changed the teacher's story by causing the teacher to do things differently, to reflect more about how to be effective, and to figure out how to reach this child in a different way.

Sometimes by putting things into a story format we will discover the hidden underpinnings of the relationship. By allowing our minds to create a story format that contains the ingredients of our problem, we might instead discover that the problem is not what we first thought it was. Instead we may find ourselves digging deeper into the story-behind-the-story until we find that we have created our own solution and found our own satisfying "happily ever after."

Why not give this technique a try? You will find it is easy to get started.
Once upon a time . . .

Monday Morning Check In: Surviving the Season Finale

Written by Paula E. Bird, copyright 2014

I have noticed that the tenor of my friends' Facebook posts have changed lately as we enter into the finale part of our season. I read about additional stress due to the activities that end our semesters: recitals, final exams, graduations, final papers and projects, season finale performances by symphony and opera companies, and special church events. The activity level has stepped up or is about to increase, and several friends have warned that there will be little let up until the season is finished. So too my own schedule is about to ramp up and get crazy for the next few weeks. How does one survive this finale season without overwhelming stress? For me, there are three things that I do.

Calendar Minutes

First, I carve out some time every week to sit and contemplate my calendar for the coming week (or two). This is not the same time that I will use for reading before bed or watching television. This is actual dedicated time that I will spend for the purpose of looking at my calendar. It is a little time to spend and I do not need more than 10 minutes or so, sometimes less. I find it imperative though that I actually look at the calendar and fix it in my mind. As my readers know, I maintain my iPhone calendar and have a week-at-a-glance type of calendar open on my dining room table for my husband to refer to. My iPhone calendar has a great deal of detail while my tabletop calendar has the big outlines of where I need to be and when.

During this short little time, I check that both calendars match. I do not want anything to sneak into my iPhone calendar that is forgotten on the tabletop calendar. Looking at the overall week I find helpful for many reasons. It reminds me when there is time for basic life activities, such as laundry and grocery shopping, cleaning the house, making meals-to-go for busy days, and paying bills. I figure out the best days or time of day to accomplish errands or schedule appointments, or even reschedule lessons to accommodate my students'  spring softball games or practices. If my life is really crazy, I may have to stop and focus on the calendar every few days for a minute or less. I find that the written calendar greatly helps me to feel as if I am tied to my life, as if I am truly connected to the activities in my life.

Breathing Exercise

Second, I use a little technique throughout my busy schedule. I read about this technique in a little book called The Seven Whispers by Christina Baldwin. I first discovered Ms. Baldwin's work almost two decades ago when I considered adding the journaling habit to my life. I found her books inspirational and beautiful. In fact, I have recently ordered the same book that I first began with so that I would have a fresh copy to scribble in (Life's Companion: Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest). In Baldwin's Whispers book, she writes about a centered breathing exercise. Take three breaths. In the first breath, "let go." In the second breath, "be here." and in the third breath, "now what?" This exercise takes maybe a minute, but the effect is instantaneous for me. I add one little step before performing the exercise, and that step is to let all my breath out before taking the first breath.

I learned from the Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan how to calm myself down. I took a long time to discover that it was not the breathing in that would center me but the initial breathing out that did the trick. When I want to slow down or relax a student, we focus on letting all our air out first before we take a deep breath.

This three-breath exercise is dynamic in that it brings almost instant focus and clarity to a situation. Skittering thoughts are stopped in their tracks. Muscles are relaxed. The mind is stilled into a quiet place where reflection can occur. I use this breathing exercise as often as I need it. I have the three statements on sticky notes in strategic places to remind me to perform the exercise throughout the day or evening.

Silence the Phone

Finally, I turn off the phone ringer. I still have my phone set on vibrate, but the ringer is silenced. I do this so that I do not forget to turn the phone off during rehearsals or lessons. Text messages and emails still appear on the screen, so nothing important will escape my attention, but I find that I do not need to be constantly reminded. With the ringer turned off, the air has less distracting noise in it. Then I resolve not to look at it as often.

I learned this trick when I began teaching 10 hours on Fridays. I did not have time to look at my phone except to glance at it to find out why a student did not show up on time or at all. I found that I missed very little by not checking my phone all day long. My email signature states that I check my emails twice a day, noon and 6 pm. If someone wants to reach me sooner or get a response from me, I ask that the person send me a text message. Then I stick to that twice-a-day plan for emails.

These are my basic "big three" to survive a stressful period in my schedule: sit and contemplate my weekly calendar for a few minutes every week, do a 3-step breathing exercise, and keep the phone ringer turned off and check it less frequently. Keep it simple.

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Have you seen the Violinist.com Interviews book? Laurie Niles, who maintains this excellent website violinist.com, which is dedicated to the violin, has published a collection of her famous interviews. Click here to find out more information and order the book.

For those teachers and parents who are looking for inspiration about practicing, click here to find a few helpful books on this subject.

Monday Morning Check In: Getting Behind? Schedule an Action Day

written by Paula E. Bird, copyright 2014

I got a wee bit behind last week, and unfinished tasks pulled at me. I could not seem to catch up, no matter how many to do lists or schedules I made. So I pulled out all the stops and scheduled an Action Day. I posted my intent on Facebook and found a partner to join me. Then I planned for the event.

For those who are new to the concept of an Action Day, click here to read the article about it. I have participated in a few action days with Stever Robbins himself, and I have found them to be quite useful to spur me on to finish some pesky projects that never seem to quite lend themselves to accomplishment in a normal day. In a nutshell, here is how an action day works:

• Set a particular day for the event. It is helpful to have most of a day set aside for this, but it is possible to have an action day during a normal working day.

• Decide the time frame when the action day will take place. I live in the Central Standard Time Zone, and I have friends who may participate from all around the world. Coordinating the time zones may be an issue in some cases. My last action day began at 8 am and finished at 3 pm CST.

• Find a partner or several who will join you in this venture. The iPhone allows up to five phones to be conferenced together, and that may be the upper limit to the number of participants with a phone. There are ways to use go-to-meeting software, but I wanted my action day to be on a smaller scale.

• Set some ground rules. Here are some suggestions:

• No chatter or socializing. The purpose of the action day is to get busy and accomplish things, so eliminate the need to converse as much as you can. I make notes about conversational topics that occur to me throughout the day. I can contact the person later if I am interested.

• No judging or advising. Let everyone explore his or her action day without comment or suggestion.

• Decide who will do the calling. Will everyone call one central number of will one person call everyone else?

• Start the action day.
• At the first call, have everyone introduce themselves and state what overall goal they have set for the day. Then have everyone state what they plan to do for the next hour.
• Hang up and get started.
• At the next hourly call, have everyone report what they did in the previous hour and what they plan to do in the coming hour.
• Hang up and work on the next hour's activities.
• Rinse and repeat until the end hour of the Action Day.

Here is how my action day worked. I planned for my action day. Knowing that I would spend most of my Wednesday on the action day, I planned the things that I wanted to do and made sure that all my supplies or files or equipment were ready to go. I actually got up really early that day to complete my typical morning farm chores before the action day began rather than use one of my action day hours for my chores. This choice freed me up to tackle my big action day projects that much sooner in the day.

At 8 am I called my friend. We stated what we wanted to accomplish generally in the day. Then we stated what we planned to do in the coming hour. We hung up the phone and began our work. I set an alarm to buzz five minutes before each hour so that I could wrap up what I was doing at the moment the alarm rang and could prepare to call my friend for the next hour. I also found it helpful to scribble down a few notes about what I had done the previous hour and what I planned to do in the coming hour. I found later that these few notes to myself provided me with the report that I needed to make in the hourly calls, and at the end of the day I had a brief written summary of my day's work.

At the next hour, I called my friend and we reported to each other what we had accomplished in the previous hour. Then we stated what we wanted to accomplish in the next hour. Sometimes unexpected things occurred to derail our original plan for an hour, but knowing that we planned to call and report to each other in an hour kept both of us on track the entire day. Knowing that I was to make that hourly call, I kept my lunch break to its minimum and put off attempting that additional level in the Candy Mania game. I enjoyed hearing about my friend's choice of activities because it gave me a window glimpse of what her life is like, as my activities gave my friend a good shot of what I do in my life.

We both agreed at the end of the day that we had accomplished quite a number of things in the day. Knowing that we would be held accountable each hour in a phone call kept our focus and concentration on the tasks that we set before us. I made a great deal of headway in my tax project, which was my big goal for the day. My friend made a great deal of progress in her goals as well.

An Action Day is a great way to get things done. You may devote your day to tackling a major project, as I did, or you may use it to accomplish a lot of smaller items that you have been procrastinating about, as my friend did. The day was so productive, that I immediately wanted to schedule another in the coming week, but I have found that it is best to let Action Days occur less often.

If anyone is interested in pursuing a future Action Day with me, please send me an email at paulabirdviolin@gmail.com, and I will contact you the next time I schedule one.

Monday Morning Check In: Connections and Community

Written by Paula E. Bird, copyright 2014

When I think about goal setting, I typically think in more traditional terms: linear progression and areas of responsibility. For example, linear progression refers to steps 1-10, and areas of responsibility refers to physical, mental, spiritual, or business, personal, and family. Lately though I have been involved in some planning of projects that I expect to spend a long period of time developing. I find that my traditional thinking is not serving me well in this process, and I have been considering new perspectives.

I came across an interesting article written about one couple's work to become completely self-sustaining and self-sufficient on their property. Aside from the details that result from that sort of project, what caught my attention was the authors' choice of words to describe how they measured progress on their goals. The authors preferred to employ the term "sphere" to describe any of several areas of projects or concerns that the authors deemed important enough to develop. In this particular example of homesteading, the authors outlined six spheres that would demand their attention over a span of many years in order to ultimately reach the authors' goal of complete self-sustainability on their homestead, which meant that the authors would no longer need to supply their needs with outside sources.

The term "sphere" caught my attention, because of the nature of the word's description. Somehow this term changed my perspective in a different way than I experience when I think in traditional, straight-line thinking. Because spheres are round and three-dimensional, my thinking has to alter in order to fit this new picture that I have in my head. Yes, sphere also refers to influence or activity, but it is the roundness of the object that I picture in my head that has changed due to this new word use.

Now that my perspective and my way of thinking has altered, I have been considering  my own life in terms of spheres. What are the spherical areas that my life might contain? As I develop this picture, various ideas come to mind, and I want to mention two that came to mind yesterday: Connections and Community.

I have long known that I have a tendency to isolate myself. I am perfectly happy spending large amounts of time alone (or at least in the company of a nonhuman), and I have to monitor this tendency and guard against allowing too much time to pass before human interaction. Yesterday I realized that this tendency may be harmful if I give in to it at all. Instead, I feel a need to not only combat the inertia of aloneness but to develop a plan to eliminate it, if at all possible.

Yesterday I was able to join in a group meeting of our local Suzuki organization, the first meeting that I have been able to attend since the group formed over a year ago. I became better acquainted with several wonderful teachers with whom I have not developed a relationship before, and I renewed my friendship with several teachers whom I have not seen or talked to in quite some time except through electronic means. Most importantly, I met with several teachers for the first time. Rather than be quick to move back into my comfort zone of isolation though, I embraced the experience and found many things to enjoy about my new activity and the new connections that I made.

I found it entertaining to listen to others talk and express their ideas. At times, something someone said would spark an idea in my own mind. Other times I would think about how I could help the group with my own knowledge. Most of the time though, I was content to listen to what others were interested in and how they expressed their concerns and ideas. I learned much about the teachers personally, and I came to understand the group dynamic better than I would have through electronic communication alone.

I realized during the meeting that although my isolationist tendencies are pleasant and serve to recharge my energy and enthusiasm, for the most part my aloneness may not be adding anything more useful to my life. I need more connection and communication.  I need to spend time with others outside of my work sphere, even if the time spent is in a work-related meeting. This is valuable time for me to spend broadening my thinking. I also need to develop a stronger community within my studio. We need more of a studio "identity" if you will, which will come about through our connections within our own local community and the larger Suzuki community. Although my studio is located in a rural area, we need to join forces together with other students and teachers and studios outside of our area so that we can share and broaden our larger Suzuki community vision.

The homesteading article talked about community as a sphere, and I believe this is an important area of concern for teachers. We need to stay connected with each other, for encouragement, motivation, and creativity. We need to develop relationships beyond ourselves and our studio in order to bind ourselves more closely to the larger purpose behind what we do: ability development and talent education. This sphere of community is not limited to direct connections between teachers, but opens up the connections to include any relationships: teacher and parent, teacher and student, parent and student, parent and parent, teacher and teacher. Further, our educational purpose can spread to include others outside our direct sphere of interest, such as extended family, school administrators, and community and business leaders. These types of connections will strengthen the likelihood that our global message that "Any child can" will mean more than merely one teacher's attempts to teach a few students. The type and number of connections are limited by our ability to imagine possibilities.

Take a few moments this week to consider your sphere of community and connection. What relationships can you broaden? How can you strengthen your bonds of connection within your studio and your community?

Let us change our world -- one child, one student at a time.

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I am pleased to announce that Sue Hunt (musicinpractice.com) has a new app in the iTune store! If you recall, I interviewed Sue about her review program ideas two years ago (article). The app is free (a paid version with premium features is in the development stage). Please check out Sue's contribution to our Suzuki community: iTunes link).

Monday Morning Check In: What are Your Strengths?

written by Paula E. Bird, copyright 2014

Recently I listened to a few sermon messages about talents: what talents (or gifts) we are given, how we use them, and whether we are living up to the promise of our talents.  I began to think about this subject area as it relates to becoming a better teacher or parent, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

Since I am a Suzuki teacher, I do not per se believe in talent as something that is inborn. Talent is not inborn and all children have talent are two of the main tenets of the Suzuki philosophy. I believe that we develop our talent with environment, repetition, and discipline, along with many other important actions. For this reason, whenever I hear or read the word “talent,” I substitute the word “strength.” I believe that the word “strength” adequately fits within the Suzuki model; Dr. Suzuki referred to this as a spectrum of abilities to adapt to various environments. I prefer to use the word “strength” to refer to this larger area of meaning.

As I thought about the importance of capitalizing on our strengths as teachers and parents, I also thought about how we could use our Suzuki belief to develop our strengths further. These sorts of thoughts led me to a broad consideration of what our strengths are and what different types of strengths there might be. At this point, I have identified four possible strength areas that we generally have: apparent, perceived, aspirational, and attitudinal.

Apparent Strengths

Apparent strengths are the strengths that we can readily identify in ourselves. These strengths are obvious to us as well as to others. For example, I am a person with extremely high energy levels. I identify high energy as one of my strengths. I am able to endure long time periods for performing and teaching. I am also decisive, which I think of as one of my strengths to make quick decisions based on available information. I am also curious, and this strength leads me to perform and enjoy research on many subjects that are related to teaching. All of these are my apparent strengths. I am sure that we all have several strengths we can identify in ourselves.

Perceived Strengths

Perceived strengths are those strengths that others perceive in us. Unfortunately, perceived strengths may not be something that we can readily identify in ourselves. Perceived strengths are different than the “mask” that we might think we present to others. Sometimes the only way we can uncover our perceived strengths is to ask others whom we trust to identify them for us. For example, although I would never have identified this trait in myself, my studio parents frequently tell me that I am very patient. I have been told this enough times that I now believe that I am a patient person when it comes to teaching. Other traits that others have described to me include self confident, knowledgeable, and gracious or kind. When I hear these types of descriptions applied to me, I wonder about it. I find it interesting that people describe me in these ways, because I would not have chosen these descriptors for myself. What others perceive as my strengths opens up my eyes to a different view of myself, including how I handle the information. Am I disbelieving, self-deprecating, humble, amazed, thoughtful, or indifferent? Thinking about this strength area will open up new conversations within myself.

Aspirational Strengths

Aspirational strengths are those strengths that would be needed by the person you want to become. If you want to be a good teacher, then you would decide what a good teacher is, what qualities that person would have, and what qualities you need to develop in order to become that good teacher. The same would go for any other goals that you might set. What type of person would you need to become in order to achieve these goals? These are all good questions to ask about yourself in order to keep growing as a person and a teacher. You are what you think about, so when you continually thing about the types of strengths that you need to have in order to become what you want to become, you will create these strengths in yourself and adopt these strengths as your own. This cycle will perpetuate itself, feeding and growing until you reach your goal.

Attitudinal Strengths

Attitudinal strengths are those strengths that derive from the way that your attitude looks at things. In other words, attitudinal strengths are what you make up your mind to be and think. For example, my husband might describe me as uptight and a perfectionist, but my positive attitude approach would be to think of myself as a high energy and precise, detail-oriented person. “Bold” is a more positive descriptor than “reckless,” and I prefer "cautious" to "fearful."

I think it is important that we be aware of what our strengths are in all of the four areas I have discussed. We should identify our apparent strengths in order that we may draw upon them to do our best work. We should discover our perceived strengths because we may then live up to what others believe about us. We should consider what our aspirational strengths should be in order to keep moving forward in the direction of our dreams and goals. Finally, we should be mindful of our attitudinal strengths in order that we discipline ourselves to stay in the positive zone of approaching life within our personal growth plan.

This week, consider your strengths and think about any strength areas that you can improve. Being mindful about ourselves will make us better observers of others and better teachers and parents in the end.

Monday Morning Check In: The Importance of Being Teachable

written by Paula E. Bird, copyright 2014

One of my favorite university classes is my section of String Techniques classes that includes non string players. In this class my task is to teach future band directors how to be future orchestra directors. During the class I teach my students how to play a stringed instrument, although I do not expect that these students will continue to play the violin or viola (they might). The reason I enjoy this class so much is because the students strongly remind me of our need to be teachable.

Both parents and teachers can easily run afoul of this character issue. I have a theory that many teachers were drawn to teaching as a profession because of our innate ability to tell everybody what we know. As a teacher or parent, we are daily put in positions to instruct and guide students or children who do not know as much as we do. We can find it easy therefore to forget how to be students ourselves.

What does it mean to be teachable? Perhaps it is easier to describe someone with an unteachable attitude. When someone is not teachable, you will see such behaviors as:

• Whining. This behavior includes expressions that make noise but do not really contribute anything useful to the learning process. What is a teacher supposed to do when the student says things like:
• This is hard.
• This is uncomfortable.
• This is weird.
• It hurts when I do that.
• My hand aches when I hold it that way.

• Stubborn Resistance. This behavior includes reasons why the student does not have to execute the instructions:
• My body just doesn't work that way.
• My hand isn't big enough.
• My arms aren't long enough.
• I can't reach around to play that way.
• I don't really need to play in order to be able to teach.
• I don't intend to be an orchestra director (I make sure this student has my phone number so he can call me later when he gets his first orchestra director job or assignment).

• Passive Resistance. This behavior includes continued incorrect posture despite frequent teacher corrections and instruction. Instead of openly defying instructions with verbal comments, this type of behavior is unexpressed. Still, I believe the underlying mental comments that produce passive resistance include:

• I don't need to do this the way you tell me.
• I can still make it work when I do it differently than you instruct.
• Why can't I just hold it this way?

• Frustration. This behavioral reaction is typical in most learning situations because students expect things to come easy and are disappointed when new skills or abilities do not come after one or two attempts.

• Defeat. This behavior includes expressions as to why the student should be permitted to quit. This attitude shows up after a few attempts. Probably this is the hardest attitude that I have to combat as a teacher.

• I can't do this.
• I'm not cut out to play the violin.
• This isn't the best instrument for me.

Notice that the above attitude responses have one thing in common: they are negative responses to a positive situation. Instead of greeting the instruction or task with a can-do attitude, the student minimizes the assignment by thinking and expressing reasons why it cannot work, why the student cannot do it, or why the student should not even bother to attempt it. The student expresses an unwillingness to even try and accepts a justification that excuses the student from even learning the skill.

I do believe that the above attitudes are natural human expressions. We all do these same types of behaviors. These are natural responses. We have all had our glorious moments of unteachableness. So how do we practice being teachable? Here are a few suggestions:

• Learn a new skill. This can be something as simple as learning how to knit or play the guitar, to learning a new language or starting a new hobby. Take a class. Sign up for something that is entirely new and that places you in the position of student.

• Watch your language. Be aware of any negative language that may creep into your learning environment. Avoid expressions such as I can't or this is hard or I'm uncomfortable. Cultivate positive expressions, empowering affirmations, and uplifting and encouraging statements.

• Guard your attitude. Placing yourself in the position of student is a humbling experience. You are admitting that you do not know everything, and this attitude can be difficult for many of us to accept, if we even recognize that we have this problem. As students we need to cultivate the mindset that we are students and learning from someone else. We need to accept the instruction that our teachers give us with good grace and an open willingness to give it a good shot, and maybe five to 10 times of repetition. If we are Suzuki proponents then we need to give it 10,000 repetitions in order to prove that we are indeed Suzuki proponents. We need to close the door on any attitude that allows us to refuse to do something, to give up, or to excuse ourselves from the task. We need to focus on the attitude that does not allow ourselves to divorce ourselves from the work that is required to develop a new ability.

• Enjoy the process. Rather than suffer frustration because of unreasonable expectations that you will learn things quickly, discipline yourself to enjoy the process of learning. Where does the attitude that we can learn things quickly come from anyway? We know that it is impossible to learn things quickly, whether we are children or adults. Skill development takes time. Allow yourself to experience the learning process. Be fascinated with how you learn, with how you approach new things, and with the joy that comes from adding something new to your human experience.

• Foster fascination. Allow yourself to discover new things about yourself, how you learn, how you follow instructions, what you find tricky, what you perform easily, and what your attitude strengths and weaknesses are. Let the learning process fascinate you as you discover who you really are underneath the teacher or parent facade.

Learning something new and cultivating the attitude of teachableness is a good discipline for all teachers and parents because we will become better at teaching and parenting if we understand what our students and children experience. When we place ourselves in the same learning process, we remind ourselves what it is like to be a student. We can be more patient and accepting of our students' or children's experiences when they experience bumps in the road.

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Thursday, February 27 (followup): After writing the article posted last Monday about being teachable, I told my section of string techniques class about the article I had posted that day. I showed them the blog post on the screen, and they read through the article. As the class read, there were moments when one student or another would speak up with delight, "There I am!" or "That's me!" Even though I had not written specifically about any particular student, they were intent on finding themselves represented in the article. The rest of the class was quite enjoyable, as each student seemed to find joy in catching themselves whenever they whined or complained.

Left-Handedness: How to be a Better Parent and Teacher

Written by Paula E. Bird, copyright 2014

"We must recognize that we were born as wonderful human beings with limitless possibilities. . . . Being Ambidextrous is Ideal." -- Dr. Shinichi Suzuki, Ability Development from Age Zero

Dr. Suzuki's discussion about how we train our children to be right-handed has stuck with me for years. I think that it makes sense to be ambidextrous, and in many areas of doing things, we probably are ambidextrous. I know that I open jars and pour liquid with as much ease with my left hand as I do with my right hand. I play the piano with both hands, and I am able to perform very difficult musical passages with my left hand on the violin. This observation supports the argument that we can learn to use our "other" hand as well as our dominant hand. I also know that I found it difficult to write with my left hand as well as perform other daily activities left-handed. Is what Dr. Suzuki wrote about our limitless possibilities true with regard to the possibility of training ourselves to be other-handed?

I took Dr. Suzuki at his word, and in the past six months I have pursued diligently the ability to be left-handed. I began with the simplest of tasks. Whereas I normally wiped dry my shower doors with a towel in my right hand, I began switching to my left hand to complete the task. I knew that I was used to switching hands when I was bathing, so I thought that Dr. Suzuki was onto something. I felt stilted when I wiped the doors with my left hand, but I persisted. Then one day I discovered that it was easier if I moved the towel in a different directional path than my right hand used. While I would wipe horizontally with my right hand, the left hand felt easier doing the task with a vertical motion, so I continued to follow this different direction. After awhile, wiping the doors with either hand felt the same.

Learning to write with my left hand felt very strange and uncomfortable. I had difficulty writing in cursive and still do, although I keep plugging away at it. I worked a little bit every day at printing something with my left hand. I began completing Sudoku puzzles daily with my left hand. I forced myself to print items on my grocery store list with my left hand. Eventually I began writing comments in my symphony music with my left hand. Once I allowed my left hand to show me which was the easiest way to form the letters, I had an easier time. As with the shower door lesson, my left hand showed me that it was easier in some cases to form the letters differently than my right hand would do.

I puzzled over this, and my theory is that the left hand feels more comfortable forming the letters differently in order to see what it is writing. If the left hand pursues the same path to forming the letters as the right hand does, then I have difficulty seeing what I am writing. This is most likely why many left-handed people write in a fashion that curves their hand high above the surface of their writing, so that they are able to see what they are doing.

After a while, I made other discoveries as well. I became accustomed to the feeling of strangeness that I experienced with my left hand, and when that feeling would show up in other areas, I was able to ride the wave. The feeling of strangeness was more of a feeling of differentness, and instead of avoiding it, I learned to dwell in it. When I worked on a tricky passage in my piano music, I was tempted to finger things in a way that avoided the weaker fingers, so that I could shy away from that feeling of strangeness. Now, after having lived with this strange sensation during my left-handedness project, I was able to encourage myself to use the weaker fingers again and again until the strange feeling became more familiar. I seemed able to use my piano hands in a stronger way, certainly with mental strength if not also physical.

I became fascinated with my left-handed experiment. Other people told me that there was a brain benefit as well, that by teaching myself to use both hands equally, I was also helping to strengthen my brain in a positive way, which might influence my future ability to fight off dementia or other mental deterioration. I started to develop the habit of switching hands in most everything I did, such as eating, brushing my hair and teeth, and cooking. When I shovel cedar chips or muck out manure, I switch sides with the shovel or rake. When I beat eggs, I switch hands with the whisk.

Always, I observed how I would struggle when I tried to match both hands, meaning that I had difficulties making the left hand do a mirror image of what my right hand did. At these moments, I spent a little more time trying to do the task in different directions, until I found the direction that seemed the most comfortable for my left hand. Just as my car's windshield wipers work at different angles, so my hands seemed to work better independently when I allowed them to move in different ways.

What does this discussion about learning to be other-handed have to do with parenting and teaching? I puzzled over that thought too, because Dr. Suzuki felt it was important enough to include this talk in his book. He must have had some pedagogical reason to include it. Here are some of the thoughts that I have come up with, and I note that these thoughts impact on our ability to parent and teach well. 

Patience. At first my right hand would become quite impatient with the slow progress that my left hand made. I found myself constantly fighting the right hand's very strong urge to take the pencil or spoon out of my left hand and complete the task quickly and efficiently. As I experimented with my left hand project, I discovered that I was practicing my ability to be patient with progress that was at a slower speed.

As parents and teachers, do we not all struggle with this same issue? Why can't you play this piece better/faster/easier? Haven't we worked on it enough to be at that place already? We struggle with thoughts like this, but as my left hand experiment has taught me, each hand has a different speed (at least at this moment), and if I honor that speed, then I will make progress slowly but surely. So I practice patience. As parents and teachers, this practice gift of the lesson of patience will help us to be better at parenting and teaching, with students and with ourselves.

Differentness. My left hand struggled to do things exactly the same way as my right hand, yet when I allowed my left hand to show me another possible way to do things, I was able to use my left hand easier. When I whisked my eggs, I struggled with my left hand until the moment when I allowed my left hand to move in a different direction. Then it was easy.

Children and students are different from one another, as we parents and teachers are. All of us have different learning styles, personality styles, backgrounds, and environments. We do not fit one mold. We do not find one path or direction to fit every situation. If we rest in the arms of patience and allow ourselves the freedom to discover different paths, we will deepen our ability to learn and teach.

How to Find More Time in a Day

written by Paula E. Bird, ©2014

How to find more time in a day? Impossible, you say. Everyone is given the same 24 hours each and every day. How can we find more time?

Have you noticed how some people seem to get more done in a day? Perhaps you are one of those people who accomplish much in a day. Have you wondered why that is so? I have observed that I go through periods when I am quite productive, almost unstoppable in my ability to get things done on my never-ending list of things to do (lists, actually). And then there are my moments of sluggishness, when the urge to be phlegmatic overtakes me, usually during a holiday break. During those periods I marvel at how I got so much done in my productive periods, while I struggle to regain momentum and energy during my "down" periods.

I frequently lament that there are not enough hours in the day to do all that I know I need to get done. That is when I remind myself that it is indeed possible to gain more time in a day. The secret lies in how you think about time.

Finding more time is all about how you manage time, and being successful at time management is all about how you think about time. I like to think of the passing of time like a conveyor belt, which of course leads me to the memory of Lucille Ball and her cohort working the candy factory conveyor belt. If you recall that particular television episode, you will remember that Lucy let the conveyor belt get beyond her ability to do her job effectively, and the rest is comedic history.

Consider though how conveyor belts and assembly line systems work. Typically there are several people at work at one time. There are supply stations nearby with the necessary systems to handle overloads, problems, or repairs and maintenance. There are systems in place to address necessary work stoppages. Things rarely reach the point of disaster as they did for Lucy.

Most importantly of all, assembly line systems fall under a more general plan of oversight. Someone has designed the system's work flow so that things do go smoothly for the most part, and the system has possible problem scenarios built into the flow in case of unexpected (or in this case expected) work stoppages or interruptions.

How we manage time is about how we think of time. If we think of time as a conveyor belt system, one in which the belt keeps moving, then we may have the same problems as Lucy had if we are unprepared for our responsibilities on the assembly line. It comes down to what your plan is and what tools you use to achieve your plan.

Some of us have little in the way of a working plan. We sort of drift through our lives, reacting to the demands of others or managing our work load as it arises. Some of us have a general idea of where we are headed in our lives and a little bit of a sense of how we will get there.

There are those, however, who know exactly where they are going, why they are going that way, and how they plan to get there in the foreseeable future. It is this group of people that I would like to take a closer look at, because these folks hold the answers for the rest of us. How do these successful people get so much squeezed out of their day? How do they find the time to do as much as they do?

HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO IT

They have a goal. The goal may be as simple as a plan to get through a tough week or a demanding semester. The goal may be more long term, such as finishing school or completing a building project. The goal may be short term, such as preparing for a recital in a few weeks, or it may be sort of in the middle, such as learning all the pieces in a Suzuki volume. Whatever the goal may be, it is something specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound, or "SMART" as we call it.

They have a plan. They have broken down their goal into smaller, more manageable steps. They have a blueprint of the steps to take along the road in order to reach their goal.

They take action. The goal setting or the plan of actionable steps is not the end of the exercise, but the beginning. The most important attribute of successful people is that they take action on their plan. They move. There is a time for thinking and planning, and then it is time to get going.

They spend a few moments daily updating their plan or thinking about it. They know that to use a few moments of the daily 24 hours will generate huge returns in the end. They use these few moments to consider the overall plan and to decide what steps to take action on that day which will bring them closer to achieving their plan.

They set milestones or guideposts along the way. Part of the fun or the challenge in following a goal plan is to note when progress occurs. How can we tell if we are getting somewhere? Successful people set milestones or guideposts along the way to help them measure their progress toward achieving their goals or to help them determine what course corrections they need. Milestones can include time period benchmarks, such as a weekly/monthly/quarterly/yearly review, or they can represent certain amounts of things accomplished (5 pounds, 5K run).

They have focus. Setting goals provides a focus structure. It encourages attention to the goal and the goal plan. This attention to the goal helps to guard against distractions that take away from the goal path. Without this focus, we may drift off course or in general, which then makes us subject to the whims and goals of others rather than our own.

They have a support system. Successful people can achieve success without others, but it is so much easier when there is a support system in place to help. Support systems may include family members, close friends, a personal coach, accountability partner, or a support group. Knowing that we will answer to our support system may encourage us to keep on striving to achieve our goal. Our support system can provide a safety net in the event that we slip or fall on our goal path. Best of all, our support system can cheer us on when we are in most need of encouragement and motivation.

MY TIME MANAGEMENT TOOLS

Here are my particular time management or time flowing tools.

750words.com and the Morning Pages. I still use these tools even after the many years since I completed Julia Cameron's Artist Way, although now I find it easier on my hands to use the computer keyboard rather than actual pen and paper. The 750 words website helps me to fulfill this purpose. I have worked through many a puzzling problem through these morning pages, and I find that my days begin with an uncluttered focus if I have taken 20 minutes for myself to "clear the air" of any unresolved issues floating around in my brain. While I am whittling away at my daily 750 words, I keep many of the following tools close at hand to capture any stray thoughts that would pertain to any of the items normally handled by the following tools.

Calendars. I use a phone calendar all the time. I put every appointment on this calendar. However, there are things that do not seem to belong on a calendar because they clutter up the calendar and make it harder for me to see the important appointments already listed there. I prefer another place for these things, as I will discuss later.

While the phone calendar is most useful to me on a day-to-day basis, I do find it helpful to see a week at a time, and on occasion to note more than one week. So, I also maintain a beautiful journal from the Smithsonian that my father gifts to me each Christmas. In it I briefly outline my schedule for the week in grand scoping gestures. I do not list each individual lesson, as I would on my phone calendar. Instead I list time blocks spent in various locations. My husband finds this journal calendar very useful to know where I am at all times. I leave this calendar at home on the dining room table, and I refer to it once in the morning and evening. Its most helpful purpose, however, is to show me the week at a glance. I also use it to make general notes of particular projects or items that I need to take care of in a week. Time to pay bills? I make a note at the top of the first page of the week in the margin, along with other items that I know I need to address.

Reminders. I use a phone system for these because I find it helpful to use my iPhone's personal assistant Siri feature. If I need to remember to do something, I tell Siri to create a reminder. I try to consistently give these reminders a date, time, or location in which to alert me (Siri, please remind me to take the check out of my violin case when I get home). With this easy system, I know that all of my reminding type ideas are captured somewhere. I do have other systems that I use on occasion, but the phone's reminder system is what I choose to use most often.

Daily to do list. I have two very useful daily tools for keeping track of my daily activities. One is my daily to do list, and the other is my daily schedule outline. On my daily to do list, I include everything that I want to accomplish in a day. Following the rule suggested by Mary Kay Ashe, I may only complete 6 things on the list and feel that it was a good day, but often my list is a bit longer than 6 things. I try to keep the list to one side of the page, but things do spill over onto page two, and sometimes page two is my catch-all for things that occur during the day or for things that I would like to do if the right circumstances present themselves. I use a small notebook page from a product by Mead called "notes on-the-go":

Daily schedule outline. The next time management tool is my daily schedule outline, and this is something that I created for myself on a computer. It is designed to take up half a page, so I have two outlines on each page, and I make copies of this and cut them in half. This daily outline starts with "wakeup" and lists each half hour thereafter beginning at 8 am until 5:30 pm with an evening slot at the bottom. I use this form to plan out my day and to anchor in my mind where I have slots to do things. I find that this tool helps me the most to avoid wasting the time I have in a day. Instead of gabbing in the hallway at the university or frittering my free moments with emails, I have a reminder before me that I had planned to do something else during that time slot. When I create the outline at the beginning of the day, I note where there are some open moments, and I fill in those moments with a few items that I can accomplish in that time. Do I need to spend more than 5 minutes answering my colleague's request for a schedule of rehearsals, prepare an exam for an upcoming class, or make a necessary phone call? These might be a few of the items that I include in that empty slot. Here is an example of how my day looks today:

The Master List. The next two tools I use interchangeably and for slightly different purposes. They are useful tools in that I have several possible systems to help me to remember any thoughts I have about things that I need to do or things that occur to me while I am in the middle of doing something else. These tools may not be for everyone, but they serve useful purposes for me.

I use a pad folio system for keeping a master list or at least capturing a list of items that I must include on my master list. I use a folio that is small enough to hold the smaller legal pads. I find that when I have such a tool handy, that I use it to capture stray ideas that surface during lessons, during meetings, or in general when I am out and about. It easily fits into my purse, so it is always handy. The trick, I find, is remembering to periodically look through it and deal with the items that I have written there. I put the items on the next tool and then deal with them.

Cloud Outliner or Mind Map. I currently use these two tools at different times to help me capture various types of thoughts, and I have both of these tools on my iPhone. If I am brainstorming ideas, I would use the Mind Map tool, where I would draw branches of ideas as they occur to me. Generally though, I am most comfortable with an outliner tool, and the Cloud Outliner app serves my needs very nicely. As projects or things I need to do occur to me, I write them on my outliner app. It is easy to list things and indent things. I used to use a paper master list, and I do carry around a pad folio to help me capture these things in meetings or while teaching, but as soon as I can, I transfer these things to my cloud outliner where I am able to break down these ideas into smaller action steps.

I maintain two master lists in my cloud outliner: backlog and active. I use a technique that I learned from the Quick and Dirty Tips Get it Done Guy [click here to read about it]. I cycle through the backlog list until I no longer find something that I want to work on. At that point I venture into the active list. When I do go back to the backlog list, I keep at it, maybe coming up with smaller steps. If I can reframe the item, then I put it on my active list. If not, I seriously think about eliminating the task or delegating it (with a followup step added to the active list). At some point my backlog list is eliminated. Then I rename my active list as the backlog and begin a new active list. This system really works to keep my focus on what I need to do and keeps me mindful about what is really a necessary thing to keep on my master to do list.

The Mind Map tool is not necessarily a time management tool, but I find it useful on occasion for brainstorming time management issues. Sometimes what holds me up from accomplishing things is some other problem that leads me to procrastinate. Perhaps my schedule is too busy, or perhaps I'm stuck trying to do something that is not quite ready for tackling. Maybe I need some baby steps. Maybe I need to explore the reasons why I am stuck. I find it helpful to use a mind mapping tool to puzzle through these issues. Because ultimately I can unstick myself after using this tool, I include it in my arsenal of time management tools.

When I use these tools on a consistent basis, I accomplish much. I am more mindful of how my time is spent, and I have a general outline and plan for accomplishing the things that are important to me. I did not find these tools overnight, and I have also tried many tools. I am still experimenting with various applications, planners, and forms, but after much trial and error, I find that these few tools are my most productive. I will still keep an open eye to whether there is something else out there that I missed, but in the meantime, I will continue to manage my time flow with these tools.

Everyone has their own particular systems. The best system is one that incorporates all of these basic time management items in some fashion that works for you. Please comment with some of your favorite tools and apps.

Monday Morning Check In: What a difference practice makes

Written by Paula E. Bird, ©2014

What a difference practice makes!

I have such a varied group of parental approaches to practice sessions. Each approach tells me so much about the parent in terms of the parent's background, values, parenting style, and parenting philosophy. The past two weeks were very revealing to me in terms of my studio parents' various approaches to ability development.

Holiday breaks can be tricky times for many families because this is the time that many families can spend time together. Families travel during these times or they make plans to spend time visiting relatives and friends. Practice sessions drop down the list of priorities, and that is to be expected. I was prepared to face a few weeks of getting everyone back on track at the studio.

One child came without the practicing parent. The other parent sat on the couch in the nearby room. Practice sessions were very spotty over the holidays. We had to take a few steps backwards in our progress and pick up where we had been a few months ago.

Another child came completely prepared. He and his mom had practiced fairly regularly and had also included his younger brother in the sessions to encourage the younger child to begin his own lessons soon.

Another child came unprepared but eager to play. He had been very sick over the holidays, but his mother kept up his interest by playing the recordings more often and by talking about lessons starting up soon.

Another child came with nothing prepared, and her mother seemed a little resistant to getting things back on track. The mother wanted to take a few steps back and redo assignments that had been learned weeks ago. This mom was also looking for ways to simplify the child's learning, such as writing out cheat sheets of the fingerings to songs (something that I do on occasion to help the mothers check on whether the child is playing the songs correctly. Unfortunately in this case, the mother wanted the child to use these fingering sheets to learn the songs, except that the child was not learning the songs. The child was learning how to rely on a fingering sheet to play the song, which is a result that the parent still does not recognize nor believe is undesirable).

Another child came prepared to begin new material because she had done a really good job of practicing her assignments over the holiday break. In fact, her mother laid out how they practice at home. They play through the list of assignments, playing through each song and often more than once in some cases. Then after going through the assignment list in this way, they go back and review the list once more. No wonder this child was prepared to move on!

As a teacher, such varied approaches can be dicey to work with. My assignments are not consistent across the board between students, because I need to tailor my assignments to fit what a parent and student bring to the lessons and what they will take away for home practices. I am frequently balancing my parents' and students' practice values with my own decisions about whether to raise or lower my expectations about what I think the child is capable of doing.

Such is the life of a teacher. For many parents, at the onset of music lessons, such was the choice of the parent as well. Generally, parents want their children to succeed at ability learning. Somewhere along the way, however, life seems to raise its head and cause ripples in the learning process. Parents run into harder assignments, and students grow in and out of physical, emotional, and mental phases that cause ripples in the students' ability to progress in a linear fashion. This is all to be expected. It is how the parents and students regroup, recharge, and recommit to the ability development vision after these bumpy patches in the road that will determine how well the children will succeed.

This week I will spend thinking of ways to help my parents regain any lost enthusiasm and motivation for learning and for teaching their child at home. This may be a good time for me to revisit the parents' goals for their child.

Monday Morning Check In: The Hidden Teaching Points

The Hidden Teaching Points: the Road to a Deeper Teaching Relationship

Written by Paula E. Bird, ©2014

I would like to warn my readers that one cannot search the Internet to learn how to teach a piece in the Suzuki repertoire and then just follow the suggested model. Teaching is about so much more than just a list of teaching points. The teaching points and historical background of the pieces are merely the starting point in a teaching relationship with a student; these are the entrance passes to a deeper understanding of the student and a more comprehensive understanding of the wealth of learning points contained in the Suzuki repertoire (and in other literature as well).

I have taught the Vivaldi concertos many, many times over my 38 years of teaching. I have grappled with the difficult teaching points contained in the pieces as well as with the outside influences that affect how well a student will learn and at what pace (listening program, review program, practice routine and schedule, motivation, etc.). What happens though when all of the aforementioned ingredients are in place and the student still does not "get it"? What do you do then? In my opinion, this is the point when the real teaching begins. These are what I call the hidden teaching points, and there is no rule  or guide book to show a teacher the way, other than experience in some cases, teacher training in other cases, and perhaps a mentoring relationship with other teachers. Still, there are those puzzling moments in our teaching experience that baffle us. Here is one example of such an experience.

I have a lovely high school student who has studied with me since elementary school. She is currently learning the third movement of the Vivaldi A Minor Concerto. She is also a pianist, and I believe piano was her first instrument. She is also a singer and participates regularly in choir activities. As a high school student, you can imagine the many activities that compete for this student's attention, but still she manages to do a creditable job of maintaining a regular practice schedule. I frequently remind her to do listening, but other than that, she is a good student. She comes to lessons prepared with her scale and etude books as well as her Suzuki repertoire assignments.

She can play the first movement of the Vivaldi concerto rather well, and she is well on the road to learning the third movement, her current working piece. As I watch her play her lesson for me, despite my student's many years of violin and piano study, she still struggles with the simplest execution of fingering and sometimes even with her bow hold. This has baffled me for a very long time. I have watched her, analyzed her from every possible direction for tension physically and mentally, and I have not been able to pinpoint what the difficulty is exactly. Yet, there it is before my eyes. She actually looks and sounds as if she is physically struggling to play. I remind her to "make it sound easy," and the sound does improve, but the visual aspect still shows her struggling.

I also began to notice that she was struggling to reach her pinkie finger to the appropriate pitch. Her violin is the correct size, and so is her hand for the instrument. Still the shape of her hand shifts to accommodate a pinkie "reach." We have diligently worked on shaping the hand to give support to the pinkie, but still the problem exists.

Here is where I think the real teaching begins. I find it so tempting to continue along this current path. After all, the student will not be a music major beyond high school, I believe. If she does opt for this pathway, it is more likely that she would choose the piano or vocal area. I could continue to have her play lessons for me in a similar fashion until she graduates high school and no longer is in my charge.

I, however, find these sorts of puzzle pieces fascinating. I frequently ask myself, "Why is that happening? Why does this student not get this? Why does this student have trouble with this?" Once I figure out the answer to those types of questions, I begin to understand even deeper what the learning challenges of the piece are or what learning challenges the student has.

I asked myself in earnest these questions. I even asked my student to demonstrate her piano playing as well so I could see if there was a relationship between the way she approached both instruments. I did not see the answer at first, but after much puzzling through this, I think that I have finally found the explanation. The answer to easing the problem has not yet definitely presented itself.

My student never lets her left hand knuckles relax into an elongated state. This explains why vibrato has always been difficult for her with her ring finger. Whereas most of us have a slightly extended shape to our ring finger, which allows the ring finger to be the perfect finger to learn and perform vibrato, my student has a completely square shape. This also explains why my student has difficulty reaching her pinkie pitches. She works to maintain her squared finger shape at all times, and this shortens her reach to the pinkie notes. My student's vibrato has always been stiff and awkward, and this squared finger issue would explain the stiff vibrato as well.

Yay! I finally figured out the problem. But did I? All I would have to do is get her to relax her knuckle grip. That is where we began, until I ran into the real problem, and this problem was not readily apparent. My student has an extreme case of double-jointedness. Her fingers can collapse at the slightest touch. No amount of changing her hand shape to the instrument seems to affect this problem in a positive way. Well, that was a surprise to me as well.

What about the piano? When I asked my student to demonstrate her piano playing again, I saw that she was doing the same thing, and I would bet that her piano teacher has not seen this either. My student was altering her hand shape ever so slightly so that she could land her fingers in a way that allowed for squared knuckles.

Now I have to credit my student to coming up with a solution to playing both instruments that allowed her to accommodate her double-jointed proclivity. What a shame though that she had to do this. It has taken me a very long time to figure out what the issue was, and the problem has insinuated itself very delicately over the years into my student's playing. As a teacher, if I had just stuck to the teaching points and usual teaching plan that I read on the Internet or in a book, I would never have discovered this issue with my student.

So my question to you this week is: "What is your teaching philosophy?" Are you the kind of teacher who just teaches the piece, or are you the teacher who approaches the whole student and looks for ways to reconcile the student's learning experience to the rest of the student's world? Or are you a combination of both? This is an important question to consider and spend time reflecting on, because your answer will be the key that opens up the hidden teaching points that will enrich your teaching experience and deepen your relationship with your students.

Monday Morning Check In: What Systems do you Need?

Written by Paula E. Bird, ©2014

Today is the first Monday of 2014. I like to greet my Mondays with thoughts about what I want to accomplish in the coming week. Since this is the first Monday of the first full week, I thought it would be a good idea to consider the systems that I need to have in place to make my year go smoothly. Here are my top three suggestions for creating important systems:

Financial Systems -- A good financial system will account for incoming and outgoing finances, including some of the following items:

• income register
• expense register
• tax-related items register
• bookkeeping routine
• bill pay reminders
• student tuition reminders

Filing Systems -- A good filing system will rely on some of the following items:

• file storage
• filing plan
• file management
• file retrieval

Scheduling Systems: A good scheduling system will include some of the following items:

• calendars
• reminders
• to do programs
• tickler file

What systems do you need? Identify what systems you need and set them up this week. Make a plan or routine to use your systems.

Enjoy your week!

Monday Morning Check In: Value your priorities

What is a priority? The Merriam-Webster dictionary instructs us that a priority is the state of being before something else: "something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives." I like this last phrase because it sums up nicely how priorities work.

Our lives are filled with competing alternatives at any given time. How do we manage our time and activities so that we get the most return and satisfaction for our efforts? One way is to use the urgent/important matrix promoted by Dr. Stephen Covey. For more information about the matrix and an excellent article about how to use it, visit the Mind Tools website here. Another way is to focus on your values and give them the time and attention that they deserve.

Why did this subject come up today? I was thinking about the state of the studio, which started back up about a month ago. I was thinking back to the progress I observed with my students and parents as they got back into a regular practice routine. I also observed when parents and students got off the regular routine practice track and noted the causes. This reflection led me to thoughts about priorities and how to help parents and teachers set guidelines for turning things into priorities.

The best way to maintain any regular routine is to establish the activity as a priority. This means that the activity takes precedence over other "competing alternatives." How do we determine which activities take precedence over other activities?

I start out my thinking by deciding which activities are important to me. When it comes to children, the question is a no-brainer for me. Children and their activities have the highest priority in my opinion. If the activities are important enough for us to enroll our children, then it seems to me that we should place importance and devote time and attention to the child's activity.

When I consider my priorities, I begin my reflection about what is important to me and about what I value the most. My values are my foundation, and I would argue that this should be the starting point for all of our decisions. When I talk about values, I am referring to those ideas and principles that I hold most dear: children, honesty, fair dealings, loyalty -- the list can be quite extensive. I assume that for other parents and teachers, children would top the list of values, and therefore priorities. And now I have reached the point that I wanted to stress today.

If children are valuable to us, then anything we do that is associated with children – our children – should be given the highest priority. If we have made the decision to enter our children in certain activities, then we should honor our commitment by following through with what the chosen activity requires such as attendance at lessons and group classes and regular practice.

I want parents to spend this week thinking about this issue of children and priorities. Do our decisions about activities, practice, lessons, and group class attendance line up with our values? Are we giving priority to our children's activities? If our actions do not line up with our value system, then perhaps we need to reevaluate our priorities. Perhaps we need to be clearer about what our values really are.

I think it is an excellent idea to revisit the issue of personal values from time to time, as this one area most affects what decisions we make and what priorities we assign to those decisions. I recommend that we set our priorities to line up with our values, and then we should value our priorities.

Monday Morning Check In: 8 Ways to Survive a Road Trip

I did not have very many good writing topic ideas for today. My brain is fried. I lack creativity and crave more sleep. I need to do laundry, dust my house, and sit down for a time with no demands made of me.

I survived a three day road trip to the furthermost tip of Texas -- the Valley.

The Texas State University string trio, TreSorelle, was invited to visit several school districts and offer performances and workshop clinics to students. It was an ambitious and intense program and schedule, and to really sweeten the pot, we drove the 4.5 hours to and fro. Our days were crammed full with teaching and performing, and we had barely a few hours to call our own. Road trips of this magnitude can be an overwhelming drain on energy and stamina. Trips like this can bring out the worst attitudes and traits in a person.

This trip went so smoothly. It was actually enjoyable. We laughed and smiled a great deal during the entire adventure. We were happy to be doing what we were doing, not only because we enjoy what we do, but because we enjoy each other and what each of us brings to the experience. I have been on other road trips of this type, but this one is a trip that I will remember because of how enjoyable it was to spend a few days in close proximity with some of the most special people I know in my work place.

I thought about what made this experience so easy to handle, and several thoughts came to mind. I thought of 8 reasons why I found it so easy to survive this road trip:

Good Humor. Each of my colleagues has a ready smile and an easy, unaffected laugh. Both of them look on the bright side of things in general, even in negative situations or unpleasant environments. They are quick to forgive and forget slights or other unpleasantness. I cannot recall laughing as often as I did during these past few days. I must remember that a good sense of humor, both as a listener and as a conversationalist, helps to smooth over any rough edges and provides positive enthusiastic energy.

Expectancy. Each of my colleagues maintained an attitude of expectancy. So often people look for bad things to occur. This is also a form of expectancy but not the type that I am writing about now. What I mean by expectancy is that we kept ourselves open to receive anything and everything. We strived to avoid having any preconceived notions about what might occur during this visit to the schools. We kept ourselves open to whatever experience or encounter we met. This attitude made it easy to maintain the next attitude.

Flexibility. The attitude of flexibility means that we were ready for anything that came our way. Some teachers wanted us to perform and talk to the students about our university. Other teachers wanted us to listen to the students perform and then offer constructive ideas for improvement. Still others wanted us to do all of these things as well as offer individual assistance to promising students. My colleagues and I kept our attitudes flexible so that we could accommodate any and all requests. This attitude went a long way toward making our schedule easy to live with. In a way, it was also fun because we were not bored with our schedule. There was something unusual and new in almost every part of our days. Staying flexible made it easier to handle any bumps along the way.

Good Company. I find it easy to enjoy the company of anyone who shares an upbeat attitude, and who is kind, compassionate, open, sharing, friendly, caring, and considerate. My colleagues have these qualities and more, as did the school directors that we worked with and then spent time with at the end of the day. They were all a terrific bunch!

Snacks. Part of the fun of the road trip experience were the road trip snacks. Everyone had their favorite road trip snack. I think there is much to learn about a person by the type of snacks they choose on a road trip. Healthy food, garbage food, a mixture? Road trips tend to bring out that side of us that wants to indulge in snacks "just this once," and it was interesting to see what that "once" meant to everyone.

Sharing and Shared Experiences. The road trip brings people together in a close space for a long period of time. It is easy to breed a situation that is fraught with difficulties. In our experience, the more intimate small space of the vehicle we drove allowed us to share experiences on a very personal level. This situation might be difficult with some people, but in our case, the three of us were very happy to share things together. Not only did we share details about our personal lives, but also about our personal hopes and plans for the future. We created a safe environment for all of us to share a part of ourselves with each other, and that sharing allowed us to build a much closer connection with each other as a group. Along with this sharing of our own personal experiences, the long road trip presented us with experiences to share together. We were able to experience the same events and offer each other different responses and perspectives, which allowed us to know each other even better.

Downtime Together and Apart. We spent a great deal of time with each other, yet we allowed each other time and space apart. We might have had a mere thirty minutes before the next activity, but we used that time to find a quiet space alone to practice, reflect, or merely close our eyes and rest for a little bit. Even our time in our motel rooms at the end of our long days we spent alone and allowed ourselves a breather to rest in order to renew our energy for the next day.

Coming Home. When we got home, we were all glad to finish the trip. We had a successful experience. We worked with many students and visited many school directors and programs. We performed numerous times for receptive audiences. When we returned our vehicle, there was a reluctance in the air to separate from each other. We seemed to hang on a little while longer in each other's presence rather than dash off to our respective homes. We really did have a wonderful and successful road trip. It was good to come home though too. I was able to drive away with good spirits because I knew that I would see my good friends and colleagues in a few days.

Monday Morning Check In: Role Models

Written by Paula E. Bird ©2013

When I joined the symphony many years ago, I recall watching a woman enter rehearsal and stride to her seat on the inside of the second stand of the first violins. I could not help but notice her. She walked with a calm air of confidence. She looked like she knew what she was supposed to be doing and would be able to do it well. She had such a strong air about her, and at every rehearsal I would watch her entrance on the stage. I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to exude that same self-confidence and feel that same sense of purpose that I saw in her.

I have talked about the importance of role modeling before, but I have been thinking this week about the importance of having role models for ourselves. As teachers, we are careful to present ourselves publicly in a way that we hope will inspire students, motivate parents, and lead others in a direction that would benefit others as a community. The Suzuki Method places a great emphasis on role modeling: parents for students, teachers for parents and students, and students for other students. All of us who are part of the Suzuki Triangle are role models in some way to each other.

My students are also role models to the other students in their classes. For example, in my current group class configuration, there are some students who are thoughtfully role modeling certain behaviors for other students. Last year, I had a young boy about 7 years old who was quite fearful in his approach to new things. He was afraid to make mistakes and definitely was out of his comfort zone whenever we attempted a new skill. He came to me as a student when his previous teacher moved away, so I did not have an opportunity to teach him from the very beginning, although I did back him up and revisit the Twinkles to make sure that we addressed any bad habits he might have developed.

During group classes, I noticed that this young, fearful boy seemed to be drawn to another older boy of about 13 years old. I watched the interactions between the two boys over the course of several classes. The young boy had an anxious energy about him, while the older boy was much calmer and much more open to trying new things. The older boy had a kind, gentle, and nurturing spirit. The younger boy constantly watched the older boy in everything that the older boy did. If the older boy tried something new, then so did the younger boy. Here is where my story gets really interesting.

I found out when we practiced for our spring recital that the younger boy did not know how to take a bow. He completely resisted my efforts to teach him how to take a bow. He said that it was embarrassing. I pushed as gently as I could, but I backed away from going all the way. At the next group class, I asked the older boy to be our leader and to practice having the group take a bow together, with our goal being to bow simultaneously. To my delight, the 13 year old would slightly rise up on the balls of his feet while taking a bow, giving a really clear signal to take a bow. I had placed the little boy almost directly behind the older one, and the younger child copied the older boy exactly. That was the end of the balking bow issue from that point on. I had an opportunity to talk to the older boy about what a fine job he did as a leader during the group class and how important his job was as far as the younger boy was concerned. From that moment on, I saw the older boy take a personal interest in the younger boy. The older would talk to the younger and show him how to do things, and the older would act very demonstratively about any new skills we brought up in class.

It is a new season and a new group class. The older boy approached me after class the other day to bring to my attention that the younger boy seemed very different this year. The younger was much more courageous about playing new songs and about participating in class. The older boy felt a true sense of worth about the role that he played in the success of the younger boy. That is the power of role modeling. Not only does the modeler provide a strong example that can give a great sense of value to the modeler, but the person watching the role modeling receives a great opportunity to learn.

I have been thinking about those individuals in my life who serve as role models for me. There is the young boy that recently joined my studio. He approaches everything as if it is going to be the most fun thing to do. He has an instant smile, an eager spirit, and great enthusiasm about his participation. I want to be like that. I want to be happy and smiling and enthusiastic about my work and my participation in life.

There are the other members of the Artisan Quartet. These people are important to my life and provide me with many role model behaviors that I want to emulate, such as consistent discipline, artistic musical expression, and general good humor and positive outlook. There are some people that I work with at the university who provide good role modeling for me in terms of collegiality, teamwork, and diplomacy.

Remember that woman I mentioned who sat in the fourth chair in the symphony? She passed away a long time ago. I have had the honor of sitting in her chair for a very long time now, and very seldom does a rehearsal go by that I do not think of that woman and how I admired the way that she conducted herself. I continue to try and emulate her style as much as I can, and I wonder if anyone thinks about me that same way that I thought of that woman.

Who are your role models and what lessons do you learn from them?

Monday Morning Check In: Good Enough?

My studio began offering fall semester lessons two weeks ago. The first week I thought I had come up with the perfect plan to encourage the start of a daily habit of practicing. I told each student and his or her parent that if the student were to practice every day between lessons, I would give the student a “prize.” I showed the student what the prize would be for practicing every single day until the next lesson: a single page of a color-by-number picture.

This was no ordinary color-by-number item. This page called for ten different color shades and must have had one hundred or more places to fill in for the picture to be complete. This was no simple prize, I assure you. I started filling in a picture for myself, fully intending to hang it up on the studio front door as an example, but I spent so much time coloring that I did not finish my picture.

The students responded well to my announcement, I thought. They seemed very excited about the possibility of getting a prize for practicing daily. Notice that I did not set a time frame for the practices. It was up to the student and parent to structure the practice sessions. I was merely interested in building a daily practice habit. I did not concern myself with how much time was spent or what items were practiced. That would be a subject for another day.

In anticipation of the success of this plan, I prepared 30 copies of the picture that I planned to give as prizes. I have more than 30 students, so I thought that 30 was a good estimate of the number of students who would require a prize. I could not wait to hand out the prizes this past week and to reap the benefits of all those daily practices.

I eagerly greeted each student who entered the studio with, “Did you practice every day this week?” Since I was excited about the prize (it really is an awesome thing!), imagine my surprise when students answered that they had not practiced each day. One by one, I went through my lesson schedule each day, and the majority of my students had not met the daily practice challenge. All told, maybe one-third of my students practiced daily. I was very disappointed in the results of my carrot-dangling, but this is not what disturbed me the most about my experiment.

There were three conversational exchanges that took place about the prize. First came my question: “Did you practice every day this week?” Second came my student's answer: “No I didn’t,” or “I missed one (or two) days.”

Third, a number of parents followed the students' answers with remarks such as, “He almost practiced every day,” or “We practiced a lot this week, just not every day.” I could hear the defensive tone in the parents’ voices, and I wondered at that a little bit. I guessed that most of the parents recognized that they had failed the assignment to help their child get the prize. What disturbed me though were the parents’ unspoken expectations that practicing “almost” every day or “a lot” would be good enough to warrant my capitulation into giving the prize anyway.

I felt pressured to give in, but I held my ground because I had been very clear as to how the rules worked. In order to get the prize, the student needed to practice every day. There were no time expectations other than to practice something every day. I was bothered that I even felt any pressure at all. The rules were so clear, weren’t they? If you contract a builder to build you a house, but the builder only builds 80% or 90% of the house, would you expect to pay the builder the full amount that you had said you would pay when the builder built the house? If you order a meal at a restaurant but eat only 80% or 90% of it, would you expect the restaurant to allow you to pay 80% or 90% of the bill? I think not, and I am surprised that many parents seem to think that this would be acceptable. (I suppose  that I could have torn away a part of the prize and presented the student with a picture that represented whatever percentage of the days that the student had practiced, but that seems mean to me.)

As the week went on, I puzzled over why parents would think that giving out the prize when the student had not met the requirements to earn the prize was okay. Where did our society get the idea that it was alright to expect a reward for doing less than all of the work? Was it a TV show? A movie? Finally, not being able to come up with an acceptable answer myself, I began asking other parents – the parents of the students who did practice every day and who did earn the prize. One mother came up with an answer that sounded right to me.

This mother explained that everyone seems to have been conditioned to expect a reward just for “showing up,” as she put it. "No one gets a perfect attendance award anymore," she told me. "Awards are handed out for participating -- showing up -- not for participating completely." This is a sad state of affairs in my opinion. We seem to have lost touch with what it means to actually earn something. We seem to have learned that putting in a good effort will be good enough and that we should be rewarded for our effort, not for whether our effort actually produced the desired end result.

There was a video floating around Facebook and YouTube a while back. I cannot seem to find it again, but its message was so powerful when I first saw it, that I believe I can reconstruct the content. The short movie was about what I recall was a middle school band. During the performance the band director talked to the audience about the importance of music education because it was the one subject that demanded 100% in order to be "A" quality work. The director talked about our grading system, where 90-100 points qualified for the letter grade A award.

As a university instructor, I can tell you that the subject of the number of points that comprise a final grade award of an A is often brought up by students who miss the bottom line. A student with 88 or 89 points will often try to argue that he or she is entitled to be bumped up into the higher A level category. After all, the student is merely one or two points below the A level, the students argue. The student does not think through this issue far enough to recognize that this request is not fair to the students who not only reached the A level line but in some cases far surpassed it by many points. This point spread represents the difference in the quality and effort level between the 88-89 point student and the 98-99 student, and there is a difference in the quality and effort, let me assure you.

The most powerful part of the video message was when the band director offered the demonstration of what it would be like to hear a music performance with 90% of the notes played and 10% missed. The students and director had planned ahead and prepared a piece with 10% of the notes marked incorrectly. When the students performed the music, they sounded awful. The band director made the point, in my opinion. Music study reinforces the concept that 100% is the worthy goal. I can only imagine how horrible the performance would have sounded if the students had missed 20% or 30%. And yet, these are acceptable standards in our society. We are given the message that attaining 70% is “average,” and that 80% is "above average," signifying that the middle ground and slightly above is good enough. But is it? Should it be good enough to merely strive for 70% or 80% or even 90% rather than 100%?

Maybe. There are times when it may be a reward to be able to reach the middle. There are times when I have not been able to summit South Sister mountain in Central Oregon, maybe because I was not feeling well or I was not in optimum shape. Although I might have been pleased with my progress up the strenuous mountain (a respectable amount of exercise in one day!), I still walked down from that experience with the recognition that I did not finish and could not therefore experience the “high” of having accomplished the climb successfully. I also did not finish my first and only attempt at doing a 50-mile trail run race. Did I expect a medal when I called it quits around mile 27? No, I did not. I expected to see a DNF (Did Not Finish) listed after my name. The runners who actually completed the race were entitled to the medal, and I did not want to lessen the accomplishments of the other runners who actually did finish the endurance event by insisting that I be given an award for my efforts.

These past two weeks have opened my eyes to the possibility that we may be allowing our standards to slip. I hereby resolve to refocus my efforts on achieving 100% of whatever task I set before me, and I will encourage my students to do the same.

Who would like to join me in this?