What's Love Got to Do With It?

Recently I broadcast a podcast episode that began a short series about the importance of love in the parent-child relationship. This love topic applies to more than just a parent and child; it also applies to a teaching relationship as well. In this episode I again stressed the importance of why parents are important in a child's life and I expanded my ideas. Here are the basic points about love that I made:

1. Children want to please their parents, so parents have a great deal of power when it comes to influence and role modeling.
2. Parents are with their children more time than anyone else. Again, parents have a great deal of power to influence because of the hours spent with the children.
3. Parents care how well their children do or develop more than anyone else.
4. Parental love is the first love a child experiences and this experience affects how the chid will develop a relationship with the world and others later in life.
5. Love expands. It never contracts or constricts.
6. Love is a verb. It is something we do, not something we have or hold.

I also discussed the importance of building an interdependent relationship between the parent and the child rather than push the child toward independence too soon or before the child is ready.

I continued the discussion by setting out a few things that parents might do to establish and strengthen the parent-child bond of interconnectedness and interdependence. I also related Dr. Suzuki's admonition that children will treat their elderly parents as the children witness how the parents treat their neighbors and others now.

I finished up the current episode by discussing unconditional love. How does one define this ultimate expression of love? Here is St. Paul's definition of love, written to the Corinthians over two centuries ago:

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first, "Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

(The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, affiliate link) 

Dr. Suzuki was once asked, "Why do you teach?" His answer was:

"First for the love of the child; second, for the love of teaching the child; and third for the love of the music that is taught the child, but the child always comes first."

You may listen to the podcast episode on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher Radio, or you may click the link here: Click here. The subsequent episode that completes this mini series discussion can be found here.

Happy Practicing!

----- Paula -----

 © 2017 by Paula E. Bird

If you found this episode (or any episode) of the podcast helpful, and you would like to make a donation to support the Teach Suzuki Podcast and the blog, click here. My efforts to write and produce the Teach Suzuki blog and podcast do not generate income except through the generosity of those readers and listeners. I really appreciate your support. Just click here for a direct link to PayPal to support the blog and podcast.

Enliven Technique with Basic Goodness

I wrote the following article sometime in 2013, but the message strongly relates to the podcast episode that aired recently (click here to listen) and prepares our thoughts for future podcast episodes. So I dusted this article off and offer it again as a piece of writing with an important idea and philosophy that is worthy of our attention. Again and often.
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"It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique." -- Dr. Stephen R. Covey (American educator and author, 1932-2012)

Dr. Stephen Covey wrote this in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (affiliate link) (Kindle version). Recall what Dr Suzuki wrote about music and character: "Beautiful tone, beautiful heart." Written in the Preface to Suzuki Violin Volume Two, Dr. Suzuki writes that "strings only sing the heart of the one who plays them. . . . because our entire personalities are revealed in the tone we produce."

"In human terms, if one lives in a self-centered, egotistical and immature way, one's life will be that of no joy and constant dissatisfaction. In other words, because of selfish needs, what one creates will be nothing but noise.

In contrast, when one lives by the principle of serving the hearts of others and learns to live for other people, one can enjoy a life of light, without discord, in harmony with others, and walk through life in pure joy. Similarly, the ultimate goal of music education, as well as the secret of violin playing is to guide others away from the world of self-centeredness to that of loving hearts in the service of others.

. . . The philosophy of violin playing is the same as that for life. Man, like the violin, can only sing the song of his own heart." -- Shinichi Suzuki (1898-1998, Japanese violinist, educator, and founder of Suzuki Method of Talent Education)

It was Dr. Covey's words about basic goodness giving life to technique that spurred my memory of Dr. Suzuki's words about the violin singing the song of the human heart. I believe that both men would agree with each other. What we are inside is revealed when we play the violin, or whenever we play music.

I teach a string techniques course at the university, in which I teach music education students how to teach string techniques. I can work a few minutes with one of the university students and tell you much about that student just by how the student approaches the instrument, by the type of sound that the student produces, and by the type and amount of energy level that the student produces while playing. I am sure that the students think I am some sort of gypsy fortune teller because I am able to accurately describe the student's personality style within minutes of teaching the student. I can guess at the types of hobbies the student might pursue, the state of the student's clothes closet at home, and what sort of social life the student maintains. I can accurately guess what types of grades a student usually gets in classes and how uptight the student is.

When I listen to student recitals, I can close my eyes and envision the sort of person that is playing. I can hear whether the person is smiling inside or hurting. I can feel the student's instrument and music vibrating in the air, and I can tell whether the student is trying to communicate with me on some level or whether the student is playing "at me" or for their own inward purposes.

I know of several teachers who routinely assign special homework to their students during the week, which consists of character building exercises along the lines of doing things for others. The idea here is that if the students frequently perform acts of goodness or kindness, then the students will get into the habit of doing good or being kind. I think this is a great idea because it makes students and parents aware of the exercise. Hopefully, when one person sees another doing such good things, the person will admire the effort and will strive to imitate the gesture. The one act could exponentially grow to include many, many others.

What such an exercise will also do is help to purify and mature the heart and spirit of the person doing the exercise. We all know that "going through the motions" will not make a person good overall, but doing so will go a long way toward building such a person in the end. We have heard the adage "fake it until you make it," and this catch-phrase may say it all. We may have to go through the motions and build the character habit until we finally reach the point that the motions and the good strong character are instilled in us. I believe that good character is just another ability that we can develop by over learning.

What Drs. Covey and Suzuki are both telling us here is that good character is the foundation to good in everything else. For Dr. Covey, good character provides the structural framework for good attitude, good relationships, good communication, and good leadership. For Dr. Suzuki, good character will be reflected in a person's music, which is the performer's personal expression of inward emotion, attitude, and sense of beauty. Without good character, something is "off" about the person, and no amount of technique will change that. We will be dazzled by technique, but we will not be moved by it. We might admire someone for their technical skill, but we will not be persuaded to move mountains.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -- Aristotle*

This week, let us contemplate the words of both Dr. Covey and Dr. Suzuki and consider what habit of character we build through our repeated actions. Let us strive for excellence. More than that, let us make the effort to repeatedly do the right things that will strengthen our character. Let us reach out to the world and build connections that will uplift and encourage our society and world to grow beyond itself in a good way, in the right way.

Go forth and do good!

Happy Practicing!

----- Paula -----

© 2017 by Paula E. Bird

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*Although this quote is attributed to Aristotle, it may actually come from Will Durant and his work "The Story of Philosophy," in which Durant summed up Aristotle's thoughts.

Good Parenting

Recently I published a podcast episode about good parenting (click here to listen). This is a subject area that never gets old and that we all benefit from visiting frequently.

Some teachers are parents, but all parents are teachers. This is important to remember because of its impact and meaning for children. Parents are their children's first teachers. They teach children some very basic and important life skills: how to dress, how to feed themselves, how to behave. These are some of the initial lessons that a child will learn.

Most importantly, parents should remember that because they are their children's first teachers, that they are also helping their children learn one of the most important life skills -- how to learn and enjoy learning. Life skill?, you ask. Do you not agree? How parents expose their children to the learning process will impact in a big way how much children might enjoy and seek out further learning opportunities in their lives.

Parents, do you enjoy learning? Did you enjoy learning things in the past? What were your experiences in school? In the home? Have you made lifelong learning a life choice that you will continue throughout your life's journey? Have you prepared your children for this lifestyle as well?

These are important thoughts for parents to consider. How parents set up the learning experience now will greatly impact how children will approach learning and life. Let us give these thoughts a great deal of consideration to make sure that we are giving our children the best opportunities that we can to approach their lives in the best possible way in order to gain the most benefits and avoid the dangers that life will offer down the future road.

Have a listen to this latest podcast episode and visit one or two of the suggested resources. Let us determine to be the best parents that we can be for the sake and benefit of our children.

Happy Practicing!

----- Paula -----

© 2017 by Paula E. Bird

10 Rules for Success for Suzuki Parents

Everyone likes to follow a prescription for success. The message is so promising: follow this 10-step plan and success will be yours.

In truth, there are simple steps that Suzuki parents can follow that will lead to successful practices in the Suzuki home. Here is a list of my ten favorite rules for success:

Arm in Cast Bow Practice

Practice Every Day! Teachers like to quote Dr. Suzuki: "You don't have to practice every day, only on the days that you eat." This advice takes care of the issue of illness. Even if students have an injury, they can still practice with some accommodation. Practicing every day keeps the memory alive, the muscles warm, and the motivation inspired. I have a student at the university who has practiced every day since she was five years old, even when she was in the hospital.

Listen Every Day! This rule seems so simple to me that I am surprised to discover a parent who forgets to do it. The magic of daily listening is incredible. Learning seems effortless. What parent does not want that?

Attend Lessons. When students and parents attend lessons regularly, there is little opportunity to pick up bad habits or overlook incorrectly learned material. Go to lessons, even if you or your child may not be feeling 100%. If you must miss a lesson, send a video recording of the child playing through the lesson material. I have counseled many students in this manner when we were unable to see each other in person due to illness. I could identify immediately any incorrect habits or other practice issues before the student had gone too far down the learning path.

Attend Group Classes. Children love to learn with other children. When parents complain to me that they are having a hard time at home trying to motivate their children to practice, I ask whether the parents and students come to group class. Group classes are fun and great motivators for home practice. The smart parent will use group classes as a way to encourage, inspire, and motivate the student to practice at home. Group classes are also a great way for teachers to address one point to a large group all at once. If parents miss group classes, parents may miss out on important announcements or that terrific, fun activity that can only happen in a group setting.

Take Notes at Lessons. Parents can mold home practices much easier if they have information available to them from the lesson. The best way to do this is for the parents to take notes at the lesson. If the teacher has to do this, then the teacher is taking up teaching time to do it. Also, the teacher may be rushed for time or unable to remember all that occurred during the lesson, so the teacher may not be as thorough at noting what needs to be practiced based on what occurred at the lesson as the parent would be. Taking notes is as simple as just writing a narrative of what occurred at the lesson. Write these notes as bullet points. Parents will be surprised to discover how much information will be revealed through the simple act of taking notes at lessons.

Take Notes at Institutes, Workshops, and Group Classes. Yes, you can take notes in other settings besides lessons, and parents will gather much useful information. Why wait until your child has a sagging left hand or crooked bow, when you can see that useful information in another child's lesson or in a group class? Start a parent notebook today. You will treasure this notebook later as a collection of memories of your child's Suzuki journey.

Learn About the Suzuki Method. Read one of Dr. Suzuki's books:

                    

(These are affiliate links, which mean that they are no additional cost to you, but if you use these links, then I will receive a small benefit for the work of writing the blog. You are never under any obligation to purchase anything, but if you do, please consider using these links or the links provided in my resources store.)

I think we all should educate ourselves as much as we can about the Suzuki Method and Dr. Suzuki's work concerning talent education so that we can share his message with confidence and knowledge. We are ambassadors to the world about this fabulous journey.

Mentor A New Parent. If you are a seasoned parent in the Suzuki world, pass on that knowledge to another parent who may be new to the studio or the Suzuki method. When we teach, we learn twice, as my blog states at the top of the page. Share your knowledge with another parent. Be a mentor for someone and accept the advice and assistance of a parent who has blazed the trail before you.

Practice With Your Child. I am dismayed to witness the large number of parents who seem almost eager to pass up the opportunity to spend time with their children in lessons, group classes, and practices. Rather than sit close and observe what the child learns, these parents drift away to another room and a different activity. Even if the child has matured enough to practice independently, the parent can still maintain a close connection with the work the child does in practices. Listen to the child play, involve the student in conversations about the learning and the practice work, and most of all, stay connected. Show interest. Be interested. Children grow up too fast. Capture as many moments and memories of this time as you can today before this time passes by. Put your phone away and watch your child amaze you.

Make the Suzuki Journey a Part of Your Entire Life. Suzuki music lessons are not something to be turned on and off once a day during practices or once a week at lessons and group classes. The Suzuki method is a philosophy for life and learning. Look for ways to use the knowledge of Dr. Suzuki in other aspects of your life, such as structuring a home environment of chores, service, learning, and cooperation as a family with others in the work place, at school, or in the community. Spread the word about the wealth and beauty of the method through your actions as a parent and family within your larger world and community.

I guarantee that if Suzuki parents were to follow these 10 basic rules for success, their children would have smiling faces and happy practices!

Happy Practicing!

----- Paula -----

© 2016 by Paula E. Bird

How to Get Ready for the Fall

I sent out a newsletter recently that contained links to recent blog posts and podcast episodes. My theme was about getting ready for the fall. If you have not yet signed up for my newsletter, why not take a few seconds to do that Then you will get the newsletter issues (about 2 times a month) right away rather than a few weeks late. Here is the last issue: Hello everyone! I hope your summer has been a time to relax, catch up on a few outstanding chores or family activities, and recharge your batteries, because the fall season is right around the corner. Are you ready? I wrote a blog article about how to prepare for the fall. I thought about all the things that I want my studio parents to know or remember about their responsibilities as the home practice partners, and I put together a basic list of articles and podcast episodes that will help guide parents to start out the fall semester with the appropriate tools and motivational reasons to do a great job as their children’s home practice partners. I am enclosing my list of podcast episodes and article links here, although the article will be published Thursday, August 18. If you are a teacher, please feel free to share this newsletter or the article links with your studio families. I hope that you have a great start to this next season!

Podcast Episodes Get Ready for the Fall: This podcast episode is devoted to helping parents (and teachers) plan for a successful start to the fall semester. How to Teach Your Child (Practice): This podcast episode discusses how to practice with your child and offers the tools to help practices be more successful. How to Take Notes at the Music Lesson: This podcast episode explains how to take notes at the child's music lesson and offers reasons why parents will want to do this. How Parents Can Help at Lessons: This podcast episode lists 8 ways that parents can help their children at music lessons. I talk about some of the silent messages that parents may unknowingly give to their children, and I talk about the importance of enthusiasm to help motivate children to want to practice and learn how to play a musical instrument. Top 10 Things a Suzuki Parent Should Know: This podcast episode lists my favorite top 10 things that I think Suzuki parents should know. I believe that these 10 things are the foundation steps to have a successful music education journey. Are You Listening?: This podcast episode talks about the importance of listening to impact how fast a child may progress in learning how to play a musical instrument. Sometimes a slight tweak in the listening program at home will have an enormous impact on the child's progress. This episode relates several interesting research and personal stories that illustrate the tremendous power of listening. The 6 Suzuki Philosophy Points: This podcast episode sets out the 6 fundamental philosophy points to the Suzuki Method and discusses why it is important for parents to believe these points. This is an episode that parents and teachers may find helpful to review often.

Blog Articles How to Recover from a Practice Break: Everyone takes a break now and then. The trick is getting back on track. Here are some useful ideas. Back to School Checklist: A checklist that will help parents get back on track and get ready for the new school year. How to Add More Music to Your Day: It is important to do a lot of listening in order to make good progress in learning how to play a musical instrument. Here are some suggestions for adding more music listening to your day. Listening Magic: Another good article about listening. This one shows the power of the listening program and relates a personal story of one of my students and how he made extra listening work for him. Music Listening Resource List: This article lists several excellent resources to help add more listening to the child's environment. The Weekend Plan: Here is a suggestion for those tough weekends when it is difficult to schedule practice sessions. Squeezing Practice Time into a Busy Family Schedule: Sue Hunt wrote this article, and the information is always valuable for busy families. Resolutions for Suzuki Parents: Another post that offers valuable information that is pertinent all the time. How to Get Started After a Break: A short article that offers quick, helpful advice about starting up a practice routine after a break.

Until next time, Happy Practicing! ----- Paula -----