Monday Morning Check In: Good Enough?

My studio began offering fall semester lessons two weeks ago. The first week I thought I had come up with the perfect plan to encourage the start of a daily habit of practicing. I told each student and his or her parent that if the student were to practice every day between lessons, I would give the student a “prize.” I showed the student what the prize would be for practicing every single day until the next lesson: a single page of a color-by-number picture.

This was no ordinary color-by-number item. This page called for ten different color shades and must have had one hundred or more places to fill in for the picture to be complete. This was no simple prize, I assure you. I started filling in a picture for myself, fully intending to hang it up on the studio front door as an example, but I spent so much time coloring that I did not finish my picture.

The students responded well to my announcement, I thought. They seemed very excited about the possibility of getting a prize for practicing daily. Notice that I did not set a time frame for the practices. It was up to the student and parent to structure the practice sessions. I was merely interested in building a daily practice habit. I did not concern myself with how much time was spent or what items were practiced. That would be a subject for another day.

In anticipation of the success of this plan, I prepared 30 copies of the picture that I planned to give as prizes. I have more than 30 students, so I thought that 30 was a good estimate of the number of students who would require a prize. I could not wait to hand out the prizes this past week and to reap the benefits of all those daily practices.

I eagerly greeted each student who entered the studio with, “Did you practice every day this week?” Since I was excited about the prize (it really is an awesome thing!), imagine my surprise when students answered that they had not practiced each day. One by one, I went through my lesson schedule each day, and the majority of my students had not met the daily practice challenge. All told, maybe one-third of my students practiced daily. I was very disappointed in the results of my carrot-dangling, but this is not what disturbed me the most about my experiment.

There were three conversational exchanges that took place about the prize. First came my question: “Did you practice every day this week?” Second came my student's answer: “No I didn’t,” or “I missed one (or two) days.”

Third, a number of parents followed the students' answers with remarks such as, “He almost practiced every day,” or “We practiced a lot this week, just not every day.” I could hear the defensive tone in the parents’ voices, and I wondered at that a little bit. I guessed that most of the parents recognized that they had failed the assignment to help their child get the prize. What disturbed me though were the parents’ unspoken expectations that practicing “almost” every day or “a lot” would be good enough to warrant my capitulation into giving the prize anyway.

I felt pressured to give in, but I held my ground because I had been very clear as to how the rules worked. In order to get the prize, the student needed to practice every day. There were no time expectations other than to practice something every day. I was bothered that I even felt any pressure at all. The rules were so clear, weren’t they? If you contract a builder to build you a house, but the builder only builds 80% or 90% of the house, would you expect to pay the builder the full amount that you had said you would pay when the builder built the house? If you order a meal at a restaurant but eat only 80% or 90% of it, would you expect the restaurant to allow you to pay 80% or 90% of the bill? I think not, and I am surprised that many parents seem to think that this would be acceptable. (I suppose  that I could have torn away a part of the prize and presented the student with a picture that represented whatever percentage of the days that the student had practiced, but that seems mean to me.)

As the week went on, I puzzled over why parents would think that giving out the prize when the student had not met the requirements to earn the prize was okay. Where did our society get the idea that it was alright to expect a reward for doing less than all of the work? Was it a TV show? A movie? Finally, not being able to come up with an acceptable answer myself, I began asking other parents – the parents of the students who did practice every day and who did earn the prize. One mother came up with an answer that sounded right to me.

This mother explained that everyone seems to have been conditioned to expect a reward just for “showing up,” as she put it. "No one gets a perfect attendance award anymore," she told me. "Awards are handed out for participating -- showing up -- not for participating completely." This is a sad state of affairs in my opinion. We seem to have lost touch with what it means to actually earn something. We seem to have learned that putting in a good effort will be good enough and that we should be rewarded for our effort, not for whether our effort actually produced the desired end result.

There was a video floating around Facebook and YouTube a while back. I cannot seem to find it again, but its message was so powerful when I first saw it, that I believe I can reconstruct the content. The short movie was about what I recall was a middle school band. During the performance the band director talked to the audience about the importance of music education because it was the one subject that demanded 100% in order to be "A" quality work. The director talked about our grading system, where 90-100 points qualified for the letter grade A award.

As a university instructor, I can tell you that the subject of the number of points that comprise a final grade award of an A is often brought up by students who miss the bottom line. A student with 88 or 89 points will often try to argue that he or she is entitled to be bumped up into the higher A level category. After all, the student is merely one or two points below the A level, the students argue. The student does not think through this issue far enough to recognize that this request is not fair to the students who not only reached the A level line but in some cases far surpassed it by many points. This point spread represents the difference in the quality and effort level between the 88-89 point student and the 98-99 student, and there is a difference in the quality and effort, let me assure you.

The most powerful part of the video message was when the band director offered the demonstration of what it would be like to hear a music performance with 90% of the notes played and 10% missed. The students and director had planned ahead and prepared a piece with 10% of the notes marked incorrectly. When the students performed the music, they sounded awful. The band director made the point, in my opinion. Music study reinforces the concept that 100% is the worthy goal. I can only imagine how horrible the performance would have sounded if the students had missed 20% or 30%. And yet, these are acceptable standards in our society. We are given the message that attaining 70% is “average,” and that 80% is "above average," signifying that the middle ground and slightly above is good enough. But is it? Should it be good enough to merely strive for 70% or 80% or even 90% rather than 100%?

Maybe. There are times when it may be a reward to be able to reach the middle. There are times when I have not been able to summit South Sister mountain in Central Oregon, maybe because I was not feeling well or I was not in optimum shape. Although I might have been pleased with my progress up the strenuous mountain (a respectable amount of exercise in one day!), I still walked down from that experience with the recognition that I did not finish and could not therefore experience the “high” of having accomplished the climb successfully. I also did not finish my first and only attempt at doing a 50-mile trail run race. Did I expect a medal when I called it quits around mile 27? No, I did not. I expected to see a DNF (Did Not Finish) listed after my name. The runners who actually completed the race were entitled to the medal, and I did not want to lessen the accomplishments of the other runners who actually did finish the endurance event by insisting that I be given an award for my efforts.

These past two weeks have opened my eyes to the possibility that we may be allowing our standards to slip. I hereby resolve to refocus my efforts on achieving 100% of whatever task I set before me, and I will encourage my students to do the same.

Who would like to join me in this?

Monday Morning Check In: You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!

Remember the old ad catch-phrase for the Virginia Slims cigarette? “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby.” The ad campaign was aimed at young professional women and how far they had progressed in terms of access to the workplace and equality in terms of pay and promotion, although I fail to see the parallel with regard to cigarettes. I have a different meaning behind the slogan today.

As any of my regular readers know, this is the time of year when I wax nostalgic for the days gone by, in this case, the days of 2012 that have passed by. I am a big fan of Jinny Ditzler and her “Best Year Yet!” book, and I write about this topic each year. As we near the close of 2012, I have begun the Best Year Yet! process by evaluating my year 2012.

For those readers who are new to this topic, here are links to my previous articles about Jinny's Best Year Yet! program and the questions she uses in her program:

2010 article summarizing the program and the ten questions

2011 article about useful productivity tools and questions 1-3

2011 article about using the end of the year to push toward the final goal

Question 1

Questions 2 & 3

Question 4

Questions 5-10

The main reason I revisit Jinny’s program and her ten questions every year is to remind myself about question number one: what did I accomplish last year? We are so good at labeling the things that did not go so well and forgetting to acknowledge or even recognize that we did accomplish things, and in many cases, we accomplished a great number of things.

Busy as I am, I too forget to reflect on this question until Jinny’s program forces me to look once again at the underlying context that supports my answer to this question. What have I accomplished this year?

As it turns out, I have accomplished a great deal. I need not bore you with my personal specifics, but there were several significant events in my life this year, and I accomplished several major goals that surprised me. Funny how that is. We roll along our life’s pathway and think we are accomplishing something, then when we actually do accomplish it, we are surprised about it.

I have always wanted to write in general and to write a book specifically. I did that in the past year, in fact, I've actually written two books and part of a third. I did not expect to list any of that on my list of accomplishments this year, even though writing a book has been on my goal list for a very long time. I find it interesting to discover that somehow, deep down, I did not expect to accomplish it, that it just seemed like a good goal to have at the time. The late motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, used to tell the story of his mentor telling Jim to put “become a millionaire” on Jim’s list of goals because of what the goal would make of Jim in the trying. "Write a book" has been that sort of goal for me -- the sort of goal that would make something more of me for the trying. This tells me that perhaps I was not all that serious about my goal. This little insight will certainly alert me in the future if I should entertain similar thoughts or expectations.

As I made my list of accomplishments, I found my attitude brightening. My outlook completely changed. I felt lighter, more positive, and generally more cheerful. There is a value to this first step, and I highly recommend that you take a few moments to reflect on your own accomplishments this past year. The length of your list may surprise you, as it did me.

I have written before about Stephen Guise’s suggestion that we take a snapshot at the beginning of every month and then compare it to another snapshot taken at the end of the month (click here for the article). We should see movement between point A and point B. By answering Jinny’s first question, we are making a list of the items we have found in point B that were not there in point A. I find this exciting. My year seemed so much more productive once I focused my attention in this way. I found it so much easier to accept those disappointing lessons I also faced this year.

What have you accomplished in 2012? Look back to your starting point and celebrate the forward movement you have made. Chances are that you've come a long way, baby!

Smiling Your Way Through Violin Practice (or How Not to Quit)

Someone asked me how to practice with her child and feel like smiling at the same time. Let me describe how I would do this if I were a parent.

If the child were very young, I would sit with her on my lap and hold her. I would give generous hugs. I would turn my voice into a soft blanket and let my love warm our connection. Here is how the conversation might go:

“Mommy loves you very much,” I would say with a smile. “Do you know how much? Let me tell you.”

I would smile and look in their eyes with as much love as I could muster.

“What do I do when you are hungry?”

You feed me.

“That’s right. I make sure that your tummy is full of food.”

I would touch or pat the stomach area.

“What do I do when you are thirsty?”

You give me something to drink.

“That’s right. I give you something to drink.”

I would touch my fingers to the child’s lips and maybe give them a little kiss.

“Why do you think I send you to school?”

You want me to learn things.

“That’s right. I want to fill up your mind with things that are important to learn and know. I am feeding your mind.”

I would touch the child’s forehead.

“Do you know why we practice the violin together and go to music classes and lessons? 

Here I would touch the area above the child’s heart and smile deeply at the child.

“We learn the violin together because we are feeding our hearts and spirits. We are filling up our hearts with beautiful music.”

Now the real lesson begins.

“If you are hungry, would I stop feeding you? Of course not! I am a good mom and I would make sure that you were not hungry.”

Hugs and smiles again.

“If you are thirsty, would I stop giving you a drink? Of course not! I would always give you a drink because I love you very much.”

I would offer more hugs, smiles, and hair stroking.

“If you wanted to stay home from school every day, would I let you? No, of course not! I want your mind to be full and not empty.”

And the big question comes next.

“If you did not want to practice the violin or go to violin classes and lessons, would I let you stay home?”

I would wait for the child to answer this question, because the child knows that the parent loves him or her.

No, you would not let me stop practicing or going to violin class.

“That’s right. I want to fill your heart with beautiful music. I want you to share in the wonderful gift that music will bring to your heart and spirit.”

“I want this gift for you because I love you very much. Are you ready to practice together now?” And I would smile as big as I could.

Imagine how wonderful our practices together would be if we focused on the beautiful gift we gave each other rather than on the work!

I am puzzled to hear that students want to quit playing or studying a musical instrument. I wonder how that situation came to be. If the parent were to accede to the child’s complaints and desires to stop instruction, I can only wonder how the parent would think that listening to a young child is the answer. After all, is that not why there are parents in the world? Who would think that a 4 or 7 or even a 13 year old would have enough life experience to understand what the benefits of music education are? I might listen to the argument that a child made and discuss it, but as an adult, I think it is my responsibility to make decisions based on my adult education and experience and not that of a child.

Yes, I know, sometimes it is hard to persevere when the child is frequently grousing about practice or going to lessons (or doing homework or taking out the garbage or going to school or not seeing enough of their friends or boyfriends). That is why there are parents in the world, because we have had the time and life experience to weather these storms of complaint and melodrama. These moments of frustration and dissension may be golden opportunities to offer the lesson of perseverance and discipline, which will eventually lead to the ultimate prize of high self-esteem that comes from achievement, fulfillment, and diligence.

One parent told me that she handled the situation by labeling the family in a way that discouraged the child from wanting to quit. “You are a Smith [fictitious name]. The Smith family does not raise quitters. We don’t even understand what it means to quit.” And then she walked away. She said that the child never brought up the subject again.

My personal story shares some elements with the Smith family. I began learning the piano when I was three years old; my mother, a primary school teacher and singer/pianist, was my first instructor. My mother and I had some difficulties working together, although her motivation was good. She did the best that she knew how, and we did not have parent education/Suzuki training courses in those days. Our practices together evaporated, and I was left to play by myself.

My father also played piano; he is a most excellent jazz pianist! My sister and I were treated to my father’s wonderful jazz music every single day that we lived at home. We fell asleep to his practicing, and we learned a lot about jazz musicians of the time and various styles. It was a real treat to put in our special requests for songs on our way to bed and then to fall asleep waiting to hear our father entertain us with our favorites.

Inevitably I wanted to be just like dad. When I was 5, I asked to take piano lessons again. This time my mom had a serious talk with me. If I really wanted to take lessons, I would have to think long and hard about what that meant. If I were to take lessons, I would have to continue taking them until I graduated high school or no longer lived at home. If I were to take lessons, I could not quit. Period. That was the end of the discussion. My mother left me with that and told me to think about it and make sure that I could live up to my decision when I made it.

I did think about it. I know I was only five years old, but I was a fairly smart cookie even then. I vividly recall lying down under the baby grand piano and looking out the front window of our house as I thought about it. Did I really want to play the piano and take lessons for that length of time [yes, I was smart enough to figure out on my fingers how many years it would be until I graduated high school]? Could I live with that decision for such a long time? (13 years is a very long time for a 5 year old to consider). I made the positive decision, and my mom got me started with lessons with a lovely teacher. I studied with her for seven or eight years before moving to another town and starting with another teacher.

Did I continue playing piano until I graduated high school or left home? Yes, I played all the way through college, and I continue to play and perform as a pianist and accompanist to this day, even though my primary profession is as a violinist. I have played piano for the San Antonio and Austin Symphonies. I have accompanied university musicals. I have accompanied many, many students of various instruments, as well as professional musicians in recitals. In fact, just the other day, I was accompanying two of my husband’s trombone students at a regional school performance event, and I ran into two band director friends whose pianist had not shown up (there was some very bad weather that caused traffic snarls and closed roads). I stepped in at the last minute as an emergency accompanist for these students. I love playing piano professionally and for my own personal enjoyment.

When I was 7 years old, I ran away from home. I packed a suitcase, unloaded my money from my piggy bank, and marched off about 2 miles away from home to camp out in the little wilderness area behind our local grocery store. I planned to live on Muenster cheese and chocolate Life Savers. The funny part is that I left my parents a note telling them that I was running away but not to worry because I would be back on Wednesday for my piano lesson.

I guess my mother’s lesson about commitment really took hold. I am still practicing piano and violin.

Happy practicing!

Monday Morning Check In: Just Desserts!

"Increasing your self-esteem is easy. Simply do good things and remember that you did them." -- John-Roger

When I first wrote this article, it was the last Monday in November 2011. To give you some perspective, at the time I wrote this, four more Mondays remained in the year 2011 after that day. We were in the final push to the end of the year, and I thought there was much that we could accomplish despite the holidays.

As I looked forward to a new year and a new beginning to some of my goals, I began the process of looking back at the past year to contemplate what I had accomplished. When I looked back through the previous months, I realized that I had accomplished a great deal. There was much for me to celebrate.

Asking the question "what did I accomplish?" is the first step in Jinny Ditzler's "Your Best Year Yet!" book. Jinny starts with this question in order to guide us in a positive direction. Too often we have an unbalanced perception of who we are, what value we give, and why we matter to the world. When we reflect on the answer to Jinny's question, we balance our perspective with what we actually accomplished and have not taken the time to acknowledge.

I have the added benefit of preparing an annual report for my employer about my activities during the year. I routinely make a habit of listing all the performances, creative and scholarly activities, teaching workshops, and service I have given or done. So I usually go through this question pretty thoroughly anyway. Along with the usual list of tangible accomplishments, there are other accomplishments to consider adding to the list. Perhaps we had a difficult year and we managed to survive it with a good attitude -- a worthy accomplishment to celebrate. Perhaps we kept within budgetary or dietary restraints more times than not. Perhaps we did several acts of kindness on a routine basis. Perhaps we expressed more optimism or graciousness in our daily interactions with others.

There are many things that we can add to our list of accomplishments. It is important that we remember what we have actually done this past year. It is necessary that we celebrate our achievements before we begin the process of adding new goals to the picture.

Jinny's first step is important. Do not neglect to take the time to thoroughly answer this question. I titled this post as "Just Desserts" as a play on words. The actual idiom expression is "just deserts," which means that one receives what one deserves. However, in my topic today, I want us to focus on celebration. I used the "dessert" spelling to encourage us to bring the same attitude to our celebration that we do when we eat dessert.

Let me leave you with some quotations to contemplate this week as you prepare your master list of accomplishments:

"Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment." -- Thomas Carlyle

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval." -- Mark Twain

Have a great week! Celebrate those accomplishments!

Happy Practicing!

----- Paula -----

© 2016 by Paula E. Bird

Thanksgiving

This will be an unusual post from what I normally write here. I have been very busy in the past two months with a great number of recitals, symphony services, new puppies and training, Thanksgiving preparation, end-of-semester preparation, and the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I apologize for not posting more in this past month, but I had a daily goal of writing 2,000 words for the NaNo project, and I had a few tough weeks back there trying to squeeze in everything else at the same time. So sorry I have not been as active on the blog as usual.

First, let me say how touched I have been to read your many notes and comments to me. It is sometimes a very lonely life as a writer, because there are so few opportunities to interact directly with readers. I do not receive very much reaction or many comments, so I have not developed the habit of checking my comments very often. Imagine my surprise to check things today and discover so many lovely comments from so many people! How very sweet of you all to take the time to write to me! You have given me a precious gift of encouragement and renewed enthusiasm. More posts to come!

Second, I want to offer my thanks to you for allowing me the opportunity to stand on a soapbox and preach about good (and bad) teaching, parenting, and learning. I do have a message about the importance of all of us becoming and being the best that we can be for the sake of our children, and I appreciate that you have been supportive of my efforts to "get the word out."

Third, I really do encourage you to write to me either as a comment or as a personal email. Your comments and emails to me provide me with ideas and prod me to think of new and interesting ways to solve many of the problems we face together. I am thankful that you take the time to let me know what you would find helpful to discuss in future blog posts.

Fourth, I am also open to guest posts, interviews, book reviews, and the like. If you have an idea, a contribution, or some news to share, please let me know. Dr. Suzuki was never one to limit his instruction or materials to an elite group of teachers, so I am personally sure that he would bless our continued exploration into the realm of teaching materials and ideas, whether they bear the Suzuki "stamp of approval" or not. Send me your thoughts and we will take it from there.

Fifth, I am proud to announce that I successfully completed the NaNoWriMo 2011! I finished and uploaded my novel for validation at midnight November 24, 2011 (or should I say November 25?). I successfully completed over 50,000 words written in November on the project. Actually I was over the minimum, and I actually have one little section more to add. I have a few more days until the final deadline to add that material, but officially I have "won" at this point. I am very proud of meeting this goal, and I spent some time this morning contemplating the various lessons I learned from the experience. The biggest thing I learned is that carpal tunnel is a serious issue! We really need to be conscious of how we hold our wrists when we use our computers. This is a serious topic for a future blog post, I assure you!

So there you have it. I have been really busy, but I am coming to a place where I can resume my regular posting. I welcome your ideas about future posts. I have been working my way through book 1, but I am perfectly willing to jump around to another place as folks direct. I have had a request for new or beginner mom tips. Let me know.

NaNoWriMo Winner's Badge 2011

Oh, for those who are interested in what my NaNo writing project was, I was writing a book about how to set up and run a music teaching studio. Since the NaNo rules require that the work be fiction and my writing project contemplated nonfiction, I was stumped about how to participate in this November ritual, which is something I have always wanted to try. I discussed my disappointment with some writing friends, and they slapped me around a little bit. I refused to cheat, because I would know that I was cheating, and that just is not who I am. Then someone reminded me of Truman Capote's creative nonfiction genre, that got me thinking, and there you have it! I found the solution to my dilemma.

I have titled the book "The Music Studio" for now as a working title. I created four characters in various stages of teaching experience and life in general, and I let the book unfold each day in 2,000 word increments. I found the experience exhilarating in how the story took shape. Each character brought unique perspectives and problems into bas relief, and I was able to address in writing each subject area. I came up with more ideas for the book than I had originally planned to use. I was also surprised to see how much the book and the characters in the book depended on the inclusion of various goal setting exercises. There are many, many different ways to set goals, and I realized while writing the book that many of these goal setting tools were more appropriate at various times in our lives. I had not thought of goal setting in that manner before, but the fictional component of my story brought this aspect to the forefront for me.

Of course, now I have a mass of words to edit. I hope to spend December doing just that.

Happy Thanksgiving (one day late)! Enjoy those leftovers and a nap or two.

-- Paula

Monday Morning Check In: It's Not Too Late!

I looked at the calendar today and counted the number of days and weeks until the end of the year. Basically there are seven weeks left, or 48 days to be precise (including today). Why do I bring that up?

In December 2010 and January 2011, I wrote and posted a series of articles about reviewing the year, setting goals, and using accountability tools. So today I wonder how well we did this past year. I wonder if we are still on track to accomplish the goals we set at the beginning of the year. There is some time left to make a final push or at least to make some measurable progress toward completing our goals. Here are some questions to get you thinking about whether you met your goal. While you think, you might also reflect on what goals you might set next year.

• Am I on track to accomplishing my goal?

• If I am not on track, how far off the mark am I? How much more do I need to do until I have reached my success point?

• Can I find a way to make a final push to finish my goal?

• If I cannot achieve my goal, is there a way that I can achieve a portion of my goal?

Do not fall into the trap of waiting until January 1 to reset any current unachieved goal. Six weeks or 48 days remain in the year 2011 in which you can make some forward motion. If you allow yourself to waste what remaining time you have left in the year, you fall into the broken china way of thinking. This way of thinking says that when we break one plate in a set of china, we say, “oh well, I’ve broken one piece of the china set, I might as well break all the rest of the plates.” We would not do that, and yet we too often do just that by blowing the rest of our diet that week, or weekend, or give up working on whatever remains of our goal. This is a prime example of "all or nothing" thinking and one of the biggest fallacies to prevent our success. Instead, why not consider the "broken plate" as a vital lesson to be learned instead of an excuse to give up trying. Why not then renew the goal at that moment and the commitment to move forward?

If you have given up or altered your goals since the beginning of January, now might be a good time to consider what you learned from the experience with a view toward setting and achieving a more successful goal next time. Here are the ten questions suggested by Jinny S. Ditzler in her “Your Best Year Yet!” book and program (http://www.bestyearyet.com). Here is a link to my blog post earlier this year for a more detailed description of the questions at http://teachsuzuki.blogspot.com/2011/01/monday-morning-new-year-new-week.html).

• What did I accomplish?

• What were my biggest disappointments?

• What did I learn?

• How do I limit myself and how can I stop?

• What are my personal values?

• What roles do I play in my life?

• Which role is my major focus for the next year?

• What are my goals for each role?

• What are my top ten goals for the next year?

• How can I make sure I achieve my top ten goals?

As you consider how best to spend the time remaining in the year 2011, give some thought to the previous ten questions. We can learn much about ourselves in this ten-question process, and what we learn will guide us to setting and achieving stronger goals in the future.

Beware: this is that time of year when I begin nagging about goal setting. I cannot help myself. There is something about the end of the year pressure that goads me into this goal setting mindset. So start thinking about this past year and the next year to come, because I anticipate that this subject will come up again. Frequently. I like setting goals. I like the results that I (and my students) achieve from setting goals. I like the feeling I get when I have provided myself with a strong sense of direction and a road map to follow. I know you will enjoy sharing this road with me, so get cracking for the rest of 2011! It's not too late!

Monday Morning: Your Best Year Yet!

I spend a lot of time thinking about goal setting and achieving. In the past I identified Mondays as the time when I would focus on goals in particular for the week. I have experimented with many goal setting programs over the years, and there are a few that I return to year after year. In particular, I would like to discuss one of my favorite books over the years and recommend this book as a very useful tool for structuring your best year yet: Your Best Year Yet! by Jinny S. Ditzler (click here for the book).

The book was an outgrowth of an annual workshop of the same name. The book's basic premise is that we should spend about three hours each year answering 10 questions, the answers to which will provide us with the necessary framework to have our best year yet. I recommend reading this book, because it contains a lot of material to flesh out each question and answer any ancillary questions that might arise during the exercise, and the book provides additional goal setting techniques that I will not address in this article. What I write here is a small portion of a much bigger whole, and you will find this book quite useful.

Question 1 asks us to remember what we achieved last year. At the time I first wrote this article (1/3/2011) I had just completed my 2010 annual report for the university, I therefore knew exactly how to answer question one with what I achieved that year in terms of recitals, classes, creative works, and travel. I was pleased with my lengthy list, and I understood better why I felt so "busy" all that year.

Questions 2 and 3 ask us to look back at our disappointments and learn from them. We should think back to what our disappointments and frustrations were and see if we can glean a lesson from them that can be set up as a principle for 2011.

Question 4 asks us to examine our limiting beliefs and create ways to turn them around into statements that empower us. If we examine the excuses or justifications we make, we may discover that we set ourselves up for failure before we have even begun. One way to uncover these limiting beliefs is to examine closely those areas of our lives in which we do not do or get what we want and look closely at how we explain that failure to ourselves. Once we discover what limiting statements we cling to, we can then re-write that script into more positive statements that will empower us to achieve.

Question 5 asks us to examine what is most important to us in our lives. This question asks us to focus on the personal values that we think are the most central to our being and the way we live.

Questions 6, 7, and 8 ask us to focus on the various roles we play in our different life areas. My list looks something like: teacher, musician, writer, blogger, podcaster, speaker, violinist, pianist, faculty member, wife, step mom, dog owner, alpaca owner, donkey owner, daughter, sister, aunt, friend. As you can see, the list can be lengthy, but that is important to consider in our busy lives. Perhaps there is a role I need to let go, a new one I should add, or one where I should focus more of my time. After I factor in my personal values, I examine how my current life reflects my values in my various roles. Finally, I consider what goals I want to set for each of my roles.

Question 9 asks what my top ten goals are for the next year. The author sets out a method to prioritize this list and set up a Best Year Yet Plan to include all the material developed by the questions.

Question 10 asks us to examine how we can ensure that we achieve our top ten goals. The author suggests several useful tools to develop a system that will lead us forward toward progress and success.

The book and the 10 questions are set forth in a way that will help you answer the 10 questions and develop your list of goals and priorities. Even though I read this book every year, I find the book new and refreshing each time, and I never tire of the discoveries I make as I work through the question and answer process.

Happy Practicing!

----- Paula -----

© 2016 by Paula E. Bird