Monday Morning Check In: Simple Gifts

Written by Paula E. Bird ©2013

First, let me apologize for not writing much in the past month. I have been teaching at two summer camps and am currently in the middle of the second camp. I have very little time to devote to my writing on the blog because this current camp is out of town. What free time I have found has been devoted to touching base with my family and furry friends on the ranch.

I had a little time this weekend to catch up with some overdue chores. Now that the house is sparkling fresh again for the most part, and I have done a little bit of hard physical labor (shoveling wheelbarrows of cedar chips to spread in certain areas of the alpaca pastures), I have at last found a few moments to call my own to do some writing. As I contemplated what I would write about during my home chores, I hit upon the subject of Simple Gifts.

"Simple Gifts" is one of my favorite hymns. Written in 1848 by Joseph Brackett for the Shaker community in Alfred, Maine, this hymn was used several times by the American composer Aaron Copland, most notably in his "Applachian Spring" ballet. Here are the lyrics:

'Tis the gift to be simple,'tis the gift to be free,

'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd,

To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

The words are simple and sweet. The meaning is timeless. The tune itself is simple and lovely. Such a small thing, but the music is often requested at weddings, and children love to learn to sing the song.

As this thought occurred to me in the midst of the donkey pasture, I thought about how simple it really was to look around me and discover the gifts laid out before me. The land is dry here in Texas, as we are suffering through the third year of drought conditions, and yet my animals that I refused to sell off have given me the simple gift of enriching nutrients that will replenish the soil, although many of my readers may not find the same enjoyment that I do in shoveling these gifts around. The cedar trees that we chipped and shredded last year are my gifts to areas of the pastures that need building up. My hens leave me lovely gifts of eggs daily, and the canine pack refreshes me with unconditional love.

As I frequently do, I turned my thoughts from the property and the animals to the students that I have been working with at the summer strings camp. I thought about the discussions that some of my students have had about using personal energy to connect better as chamber musicians and as orchestra section players. We also discussed our personality styles and how each style related to each other in a music setting.

Each discussion revealed the many gifts that each individual student (and teacher) brought to the ensemble and the classroom. These gifts may be small and simple, but the value of the gift is not diminished because of its size and complexity. We needed to remind each other to look around outside of ourselves and to learn to recognize the gifts that were before us. We needed to remember to accept the gifts we found and to allow the gifts to empower us to do something bigger than ourselves.

As I begin this last week of the summer strings camp, I will remind myself to be more mindful about the joy of teaching. Each student, parent, and fellow teacher has many simple gifts to offer, and I plan to look for every one of them this week.

Monday Morning Check In: The Gift

During this holiday season, I hope that you take some time to reflect on the meaning of the season. For those of us who celebrate Christmas, this holiday represents the most wonderful gift to us humans on earth. God loved us so much that he gave us his Son. That is the meaning of Christmas for those of us who celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday.

Even if you do not celebrate the holiday season in this way, please take time to reflect on the other most wonderful gift that you have been given — your child.

Step Back and Look Closely at the Miracle of Your Child

Your child is a truly unique gift to the world. Your child is one-of-a-kind. There is no other child like yours. You have been blessed by a special, one-of-a-kind gift that no one else was given. Even twins are different one from another. Treasure the uniqueness of your child. Learn to appreciate those qualities in your child that are different from other children and from you. Your child is many other gifts to you as well.

The Gift That You Need

Your child is the gift that you need. Your child is your mirror. When you look at your child, you will see yourself reflected back in mannerisms, facial expressions, gestures, opinions, behaviors, and even political statements and personal biases. Scary, right? This is a gift because this gift will remind you frequently about things that you need to address in yourself.

The Gift of Love

Your child is the gift of love. Love is not finite; love expands to fill the space left for love. Love will never be used up. There will always be room to love more. Your child will offer this gift of love to you if you allow your child to fill up your heart. Your child will then expand the room that your heart allows for love, if you allow your heart to grow.

The Gift of Growth

Your child is the gift of growth. Your life can continue to grow and mature in fulfillment. Your child offers this gift to you, but the magic only happens when you eliminate the negative things in your life. Your child may test your patience, but until you let go of impatience, you will never gain the gift of discovery, fascination, curiosity, and wonder that your child will show you under the guise of patience. Your child may do something that causes you to feel angry, but until you learn to breathe calmly, accept what is, and relinquish the desire to control, you will never experience the gift of kindness and respect that your child will offer to you. Your child may behave in a way that opens the door to your feelings of arrogance and superiority; you may feel defensive or even competitive at times. Until you learn to treasure your relationship with your child and focus on your child’s needs rather than on your own selfish needs, you will not uncover your child's gift to you of selflessness, relationship, and pleasant connection.

The Gift of New Perspective

Your child offers the gift of new perspective, and this gift will be unique to you. Because your child is one-of-a-kind, you are blessed to receive your child’s unique perspective about the world, whether it is about people, things, or ideas. Your child will open the door for you to experience a new outlook about the people you know. Your child will blurt out observations that will startle (and possibly embarrass) you, but these thoughts are most likely quite true and insightful. Your child may challenge your beliefs, opinions, and habits, but until you learn to listen to your child, you will not learn to see things differently in your world. You will be stuck in the rut of your own beliefs and habitual patterns.

The Gift of Understanding and Insight

Your child is the gift of understanding and insight. Your child may puzzle you and challenge your assumptions about how things work in the world (i.e., how children learn, how children respond to parental direction, how children perceive the world), but until you can let go of your own beliefs, biases, and assumptions, you will never experience the gift of compassion and empathy that comes from the understanding and insight gained by looking through another’s eyes.

The Gift of the Joy of Living

Your child is the gift of the joy of living, or as the French call it, joie de vivre. Your child will divert you to the path that leads you to the joyful moments of living, whether it is a joyful perspective, a joyful outlook or take on things, or an experience of the pure joy of just “being,” like doing something physical, or just gazing at something wonderful. Your child will tax your sense of timing by interrupting your planned schedule, but until you understand and accept the idea that life is not about how well you maintain a calendar, you will not receive your child’s gift of finding joy in every moment of life’s possibilities.

The Gift of Possibilities and Timelessness

Your child is the gift of possibilities and timelessness. Your child has many gifts that can open your eyes to the beauty and wonder in the world. Your child may demand more time than you think should be given, but until you allow yourself to live in the moment, you will not feel the expansiveness of possibility. You will not learn the lesson of timelessness. Life is a mystery that must be experienced and discovered. Your child will teach you about life’s possibilities and about taking time to make important life discoveries, if you learn to let go of your assumptions about life being a problem to be solved and instead embrace the gift of timelessness that your child brings to you.

This holiday season, take a few moments to reflect on the wondrous gifts our children have given us. Our children are our most precious gifts, and we should appreciate and treasure our children for all of the gifts that they bring to our lives. Children bless us with the keys to the kingdom of life. Children will direct us to the paths that we need to take to improve our lives. Children will guide us to those moments that show us that we need to make improvements. Children will lead us to the place of joy, possibility, and timelessness. Children will teach us how to live life to the fullest and how to take advantage of every possibility. Children will show us what love is and how to love to the utmost of our being.

Please take a few moments during this holiday season to reflect on the gift of your child. Your child is your unique gift. Go give your child a hug from me and resolve to give your child a hug every day.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!