When I consider how I might eliminate activities that cause undue stress in my life, my list appears ridiculous, because so many things that I do have the unpleasant potential to turn into unbearable stress. The flip side of looking to eliminate stressful activities is that many of these activities are things that I also enjoy doing. With every activity in my life that I enjoy comes the possibility of not enjoying it. Too much of a good thing, perhaps?
Here is an example. I love to teach. However, I do not love to teach in certain environments:
- when students are unprepared
- when parents seem to spend more energy making or looking for excuses not to ensure that the child is prepared for lessons
- when parents cancel lessons because other activities have a higher priority (and do not think ahead to reschedule)
- when parents frequently expect me to make schedule adjustments to accommodate the parents’ inability to schedule
- when parents come late to lessons or group class (one parent brought the child to class one hour late, after I had already dismissed that child’s class level)
- when parents come early to lessons (more than five minutes) and interrupt my break/lunch/phone/dinner time
- when parents do not bring their child to lessons or group classes and I have to spend time in lessons making up the material the child would have learned in class
Teaching is a wonderful profession, but because it is a
service profession, there are many opportunities for stress to pile up and lead
to burnout.
So what about playing in the symphony or other music
ensembles? I love to play my violin and piano and enjoy playing in large ensembles and the
quartet. However, even these activities can lead to unbearable stress as the
groups near a performance date. Other members of the group may be experiencing
stress of various kinds at the same moment, and how we each handle our individual
stress loads may adversely impact the others around us. I get very irritable
when I experience too much stress. Others may become petulant, defensive, and
unpleasant to work with.
Here are my 8 personal tips for combating stress. These are
not hard and fast rules. Instead I use these items as a guideline to keep me sane during insane times. I may not always follow my own tips, but the fact
that I have a list at all of helpful tips is a good step toward managing stress
when it rears its ugly head.
#1 - White Space Day: Aim for one day per week that has nothing
on the calendar. My husband calls this “white space.” Others may call it a
“Sabbath.” The purpose of white space is to allow yourself one day per week to
enjoy the fruits of whatever you do on the other six days of the week.
#2 - Plan Ahead: If you maintain a calendar (and you should, at
least as a courtesy to others), make a plan to look at it once a week in order
to plan ahead. For me, I tend to look at the calendar on Sunday or Monday. I
look at the coming week and sometimes the week afterwards. Getting a general
feel for what is to come gives me a greater sense of control over the crazy
stuff when it hits. For example, this week I have three evenings free. The
remaining evenings will involve a long drive to another city. By looking ahead
at my schedule in this way, I am aware of the time that I have available for:
- doing laundry
- making meals (where is that crock pot?)
- cleaning the house
- running errands
- scheduling makeup lessons
#3 - Alone Time: I need some time by myself when all is quiet
around me and no one or no thing is competing for my attention. Usually I get a
brief amount of time in the morning, when I write some “morning pages” and
drink my coffee. The dogs have been taken care of and are snoozing nearby. I
also find some time right before bedtime. My family has already gone to sleep,
and the atmosphere is quiet again. I use this time for additional writing or
for reading. Others may take bubble baths or do yoga. There are some individuals who need social time rather than alone time. Just do the reverse of what is discussed here. Make time to spend with friends.
#4 - Exercise: Physical exercise releases endorphins. It keeps
the body functioning and is good for your overall health. I have read
suggestions that we do a minimum of 30 minutes' aerobic exercise at least three
times a week, but I think it is better if we do something every single day. Get
a dog (I have three puppies to give away if you want a miniature long haired
black and tan dachshund born March 23, 2012) and walk it every day. Find a buddy, an
activity, a gym, and a routine that you can follow and make this important
lifestyle change. Even during my most stressful life events, my exercise time
has helped me to sleep better and to release a lot of ill-stored negative
energy. My exercise time has also revealed some creative solutions to problems
that would have consumed valuable time in the rest of my life. Exercise feels good and is good
for you.
#5 - Nutrition: If I eat right, I feel better. If I take a few
minutes at the beginning of the week and at the beginning or end of a day to
plan ahead (see my calendar tip above), then I can plan appropriate meals.
Because I teach all day and often have rehearsals at night, I need to have my
meals planned and available to be eaten “on the go.” I have a list of usual
suspects that I can grab quickly and go about my day. I eat a good breakfast too,
which really helps to get my day off to a good start.
#6 - Breathing: Breathing is also good. It helps to relax tense
muscles. I think we do not breathe deeply enough in general. When we experience
stress, we generally tighten up muscles. When we take the time to practice deep
breathing, we can relax knotted shoulders, tense neck muscles, and a
constricted diaphragm. Breathing will loosen all of that up. Breathing will also change your "angry" state, if you are feeling irritable due to stress. There are several
good yoga breathing techniques that are useful to learn (Yoga Breathing Techniques, Breathing Techniques for Beginners, or Long Deep Breathing Techniques).
#7 - Writing: I believe that writing will go farther than
anything else to combat stress. Even if it is just 10 minutes a day spent
writing in a journal, I believe that we will sort out problems, create
solutions, and anchor memories better with writing than with any other technique. There are wonderful books available to help us learn about journaling. Many
of them are in Kindle Format, which makes it easy for me to carry my library
with me wherever I go. Here is a list of my current favorites, and all are
available in my Teach Suzuki Resource Store:
- Life’s Companion: Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest by Christina Baldwin
- Journal to the Self: Twenty-Two Paths to Personal Growth by Kathleen Adams, M.A.
- Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Conner
- Write it Down, Make it Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser
- Put Your Heart on Paper: Staying Connected in a Loose Ends World by Henriette Anne Klauser
- Journalution by Sandy Grason
- The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
- With Pen in Hand: the Healing Power of Writing by Henriette Anne Klauser
#8 - Reading: Reading can be good for entertainment, but reading
can also provide us with knowledge. Knowledge helps us to grow. Knowledge helps
us to be prepared better for difficulties. I have a source list of books and
materials that I regularly refer to in order to keep feeding my mind with information
that I can use to strengthen my character, shore up my professional craft, and
teach me how to improve all areas of my life. I am a big fan of John Maxwell
and his numerous books about character and leadership development. I also read
other websites and blogs, and I will make up a list for you of my favorite
sites to visit. I have several Maxwell books and another book by Dr. Kevin
Leman (Stopping Stress Before it Stops You: A Game Plan for Every Mom) in my
Teach Suzuki Resource Store.
Along with my above suggestions, here are my top five websites
that you may find useful on your journey to combat stress.
Helpguide.org is a non-profit organization designed to
provide ad-free tools for making better choices that concern your mental
health, your lifestyle, your family, and aging well. The site is dedicated to
Morgan Leslie Segal by her parents, Robert Segal, MA., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.
Morgan committed suicide in 1996, and her parents believe that their daughter’s
tragedy could have been prevented if their daughter had access to better
information regarding antidepressants. The site collaborates with Harvard
Health Publications, the consumer health publishing division of Harvard Medical
School. Please visit the site’s managing stress toolkit and consider making a donation to keep
the site ad-free.
#2 - The Mayo Clinic
The Mayo Clinic staff have put together a series of articles
about stress and relaxation techniques. Visit this site to gather more
information and ideas about ways to combat stress in your life.
#3 - WebMD
WebMD is a site that seeks to provide better information for
better health. Part of its site is dedicated to stress management health with
numerous articles about stress, its causes, and how to avoid it.
#4 - About.com
About.com is part of the New York Times Company and provides
information about a variety of topics. One topic is stress management. The site
provides articles related to managing stress overload, how stress affects your
health, the causes of stress, how nutrition can help you manage stress, and
stress effects.
#5 - Anti-Aging Hacks
The main purpose of this site is to combat aging by
providing information to help you live longer and “stay young forever.” This
link takes you to an article that provides 5 ways to combat stress, many of
which are already included in my list above.
Please be sure to leave me a comment about your favorite methods to manage stress. Hang in there this week!
Please be sure to leave me a comment about your favorite methods to manage stress. Hang in there this week!
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